|
|
Post by Jasper Lee Ryans on Sept 26, 2012 11:18:12 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… That could not be right. It had to be a lie. Jasper was sitting in the bathroom of his dorm, the door shut and locked, separating him from the rest of the world. He felt sick, and absolutely disgusting. His therapy session had consisted of another, stupid weigh-in. According to the scale in his therapist's office, he had gained weight. Gained. That was just not acceptable. He was trying to think of how that could have happened. It had to be the disgusting garbage the school passed for food. Yes, that had to be it. That itself made it so that Jasper was even more dreading dinner that evening. He did not want to go to the cafeteria, for many reasons. However, if he did not show up for dinner, someone, namely one of the staff members, would show up and make sure he went and make sure he ate. His hands were shaky by that point, but Jazz was not sure if it was because of what he had found out, or simply because it'd been almost twenty-four hours since he had eaten. He did not feel hungry, however. With a heavy sigh, Jasper got up and turned to face the sink and mirror so that he could make himself presentable again. It was almost as if Jasper looked past himself whenever he looked in the mirror to simply see a blank face with his makeup. If he actually saw himself, it always upset him. He hated how he looked. It was just... not good enough. He was never good enough. Maybe if he really thought on it, he'd realize that what he was doing to himself was only doing more harm than good; but, to date, nothing had pieced together in his head that he was practically dying for a perfect that, in his mind, he will never achieve.
He could feel himself starting to get ill again, something that happened quite often after he had gone and messed up his immune system. He was used to it, though. After washing his hands and face, he redid his makeup and then focused on cleaning up the bathroom so that it was practically spotless. Thankfully his roommate was out somewhere, maybe with their mutual friend, Ciel. Jasper did not really keep track of Phoenix's actions. He had other things to worry about, such as keeping his roommate believing that he was simply in St. Helena's for OCD, which many actually believed despite how small he was. The bathroom was straightened and spotless before Jasper went out to make his bed and tidy up his side of the room, making sure that anything in sets of colors were in the proper ROYGBIV pattern, meaning that the colors went from white, to red (and shades of pink), to orange, then yellow, next was green, followed by blue, indigo, violet, brown, grey, and black. It always had to be in that order. It was the proper warm to cool color pattern. He was not exactly the type of person who actually needed to set things that way. He just liked to. Plus, focusing on it only helped his deception. "Okay," he mumbled to himself, nodding as he double checked that everything on his side of the room was perfect. He, then, made a last minute decision to head into town, planning on just going to the park and hanging out there for a while; so, he grabbed his things and started out the door, only to run right in to someone, which made him stumble back a bit. "Oh," he breathed as his back hit the door frame. That was probably going to leave a bruise. Oh well. The brunet smiled, though, when he saw who he had collided with. "Hi, Mi," he said brightly to his best friend, and the only person sans the counselors who knew the truth behind his admittance to St. Helena's. "What're you doing here?" The question did not sound disappointed or anything, simply curious as to why he had somehow managed to run right into Milo just outside his dorm room.
|
[/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Milo Jacob Ryder on Sept 26, 2012 12:06:13 GMT -6
Milo had been talking to see Salizar for his counselling session. Things were looking pretty good... on the surface at least. In reality, Milo hadn't been this unhappy in months, and it had nothing to do with his own disorder. It was lunch time. It had taken him a while to decide that the food here was clean enough to eat, and now he actually sort of looked forward to lunch. He didn't eat too much or too little, unless they had ice cream; then it was total anarchy. His eyes scanned the crowd again. He was very thorough, and even though some of the people were moving he knew that he had counted off every single face. Jasper was missing again.
God, damn it. He thought. Not again. He left the room at a jog.
"Food that bad?" Someone said as he shot out of the cafeteria.
"It's Mexican lasagne again." Normally, he would have been able to laugh at that. But, as of now he needed to make certain that Jasper didn't slip off campus before he could force him to eat. Well, he couldn't exactly force him. Forcing Jasper would cause him to shut down, and Milo knew this already. You had to have a little patience. Milo had gone to breakfast late that morning. He realized he had no idea if Jasper had even eaten breakfast, and the thought that he might not have was upsetting. He felt like a shitty friend for not monitoring him more closely. He was at the room now, and he managed to stop himself before he was propelled, full force, into Jasper's feather-light form. But, Jasper ran into him anyway. It would have been funny if he wasn't so worried.
"What're you doing here?" Jasper was saying. He looked so tiny it made Milo feel a little sick. He was going to kill himself if he kept this up. He wasn't going to die if Milo could help it. Jasper was beautiful, but Milo wished he would gain a little weight. As of how his cheeks were too hollow, his wrists too bony. He looked like he'd just gotten out of a concentration camp, or like he was some CG skeleton out of a bad music video.
"Collecting you." Milo said, with a tight smile. He placed a hand against the wall so that Jasper was trapped. "Come on, you look like you're going to keel over." He kept his voice soft and even. He didn't want to spook Jasper out of lunch, and when he was this way it wasn't very hard to make him bolt. "It's Mexican lasagne and there's salad too. You can eat more of the salad if you have to. Come on, I want to show you this new song I wrote after we're finished with lunch." That usually got through to Jasper, but Milo couldn't be certain now. His friend's eyes were hollow. He was looking even paler than usual. Anaemic. His expression changed to one of concern, the one that had been lingering beneath the surface of his smiles. "You are looking pretty peaky right now, maybe we should go to the Medical Wing? I'm serious, you look like a ghost right now." He knew that Jasper would refuse a trip to the medical wing, but it was worth a shot, just to let him know how sick he looked.
You're so beautiful... why are you doing this to yourself? Milo wondered silently. The stress of the situation was no different from the stress of every day, knowing that Jasper was so frail, that he put himself at such a great risk for heart problems and that his immune system was compromised. But, the stress was enough to trigger something in Milo. It was silly really, he knew he didn't need this. He was doing so well, but he reached into the room, behind Jasper, and flicked the light switch on-off-on-off-on-off-on-off.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jasper Lee Ryans on Sept 27, 2012 15:57:40 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
"Collecting you." Jasper sighed internally. He should have known that his best friend was going to do this. He almost wished that Milo had not found out about his reasoning for being in St. Helena's; but, he could not really take back that knowledge. He appreciated Milo's concern, really he did. However, he was just fine. He did not need it. "Oh," he replied simply, brushing his hair back out of his eyes. He was well aware of Milo trapping him in place, but he did not feel trapped, either. If it had been anyone else standing like that, he would have simply moved back into his room, putting more distance between them. Jazz never felt uncomfortable being close to Milo, though. Well, except for the whole hugging thing. If it were not for the fact that hugging Milo would probably only make the other teen worry more, though Jasper could not really understand why other than the fact that some people thought he was too thin, which he did not see, he probably would hug his friend a lot more than he did. "It's Mexican lasagne and there's salad too. You can eat more of the salad if you have to. Come on, I want to show you this new song I wrote after we're finished with lunch."
Ugh. Gross. That was all Jasper could think. The school food was horrible and drenched in grease. Okay, so maybe it was not as bad as he led himself to believe, but it seemed absolutely terrible. He did want to hear what song Milo had to show him, though, and he knew that his friend often used that as an incentive to get him to eat. It was not fair, but Jasper usually went with it, anyway. The frail teen sighed inaudibly as Milo reached in and started messing with the light switch in his room. Four. Always a pattern of four. He did not try to stop Milo until after the fourth time, and it was then that he rested a hand on his friend's wrist. "Maybe, uhm... maybe we can go someplace in town, instead? I'll buy," he offered. He would much rather go to one of the restaurants in town to eat than have to go to the cafeteria. At least there he could eat somewhat in peace without people watching him all the time. That was one of the reasons he hated the cafeteria. He always felt like people were staring at him, which made it difficult to even force himself to eat. "Please, Mi?" he asked with a slight smile, honestly hoping that Milo would not mind. If he was insistent on eating in the cafeteria, though, Jazz would suck it up and head down there with his best friend. Despite honestly not believing there was anything wrong with him, there was not much Jazz would not do to make his friend happy or smile. Personally, he did not see anyone's draw to the cafeteria. The food was terrible, the walls bare. The seats were uncomfortable; or, maybe that was just him. There were not many seats that were actually comfortable to the frail teen. That could have because he was mostly bone, but whatever. At least the seats at other places had actual cushioning to them instead of just being rigid and plastic. Plus, the level of anxiety coming from people in the cafeteria was pretty much suffocating. Everyone in there had some kind of problem, and it just rather weighed down the room. At least in classes there were less people per room. Trying to squeeze all the students into the cafeteria was a literal nightmare, at least by Jazz's standards.
|
[/td][/tr][/table][/center] [/quote] |
|
|
|
Post by Milo Jacob Ryder on Sept 27, 2012 17:10:42 GMT -6
"Maybe, uhm... maybe we can go someplace in town, instead? I'll buy. Please, Mi?"Well, it sounded reasonable enough, just so long as it got Jasper eating. And, the cafeteria food wasn't exactly gourmet, so eating in town actually sounded pretty appealing. "Whatever you'd like, Jazzy." Milo finally said, smiling affectionately at his friend. It was impossible to say no to that face. The tension drained away from Milo's shoulders slightly, but didn't fade completely. He had to see Jasper eat first before he completely relaxed. He reached out and lightly ruffled Jasper's hair, because he couldn't help it just then, though he knew that Jasper probably would not appreciate having his hair messed up. That boy and appearances. His hair still looked perfect, anyway. "I'll drive." Milo said. He liked his car. It had been his eighteenth birthday present, from his parents. It was an old VW Bus, or "hippiemobile" as his father had dubbed it. It required lots of upkeep, and broke down on an almost comical basis, but it had character and Milo loved it. His parents had bought it off of an old hippie who owned a hydroponics shop in Portland. They'd paid to have it's engine upgraded to a slightly more fuel efficient model, but the thing still looked like it was smoking cigars from time to time, if Milo wasn't careful with it. Whenever they went anywhere these days, Milo insisted on driving so they could take his bus. The walk to the parking lot gave Milo enough time to sanitize his hands four times. He opened the door to let Jasper in on the passenger's side, both to be chivalrous and also because it didn't look like Jasper could even open the heavy van doors with his skinny arms, or even with all of his weight. Once Milo got in and buckled up he started the car four times, not because the van didn't start on the first go, which was a miracle really, but because he always started it four times and he couldn't drive safely without having done that. He'd once attempted to drive without starting it all four times--- back when he was first learning to drive--- that day, as a test his father had asked him to try going without all four starts, and he'd just done it twice. Dad had seem satisfied, but it drove Milo batty. He quickly found that it bothered him so much, feeling that the ritual was still incomplete, that he'd actually stopped in the middle of the road to restart the car twice more. Dad had thrown a fit and actually shouted at him, something he never did. The number four had just been an annoying little habit that he'd had before then, as far as his parents knew. That incident was what first gave them an inkling of just how serious the problem was becoming. "Where to?" Milo said, as they headed out of the parking lot. He realized that he hadn't even bothered to ask before. Jasper didn't seem to hear him, or maybe he was so starved of nutrients he was going brain dead. Milo never knew what to think. "What are you in the mood for today, Jazz?" It was a silly question really, because it was obvious that Jasper was in the mood for self deprivation and whithering away. But, Milo wasn't going to let him do that. So, he'd have to pick his poison today. Outfit!
|
|
|
|
Post by Jasper Lee Ryans on Sept 29, 2012 12:33:38 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
Jasper smiled at Milo when the other teen agreed that they could head in to town to eat. That made him relax about the entire thing completely. Sure, it meant that his counselor would probably call to check on him, but he would just deal with that later. He scrunched his face up when Milo ruffled his hair and tried to flatten it back in to place. "Thanks for that," he said, though not unkindly, with a slight smile. As much as appearances were important to him, he was aware that Milo ruffling his hair was a fond action and affectionate, something that the thin teen did not mind considering he was generally not a very touchy person, though he knew Milo was. Well, Milo was at least more than he was. Of course, if it were not for the fact that Jasper did not like the general reaction he got when people hugged him, he probably would not mind it as much. He walked next to Milo down to the car, not really thinking anything of it as his friend sanitized his hands four times. Jasper did not quite get what what was with the number four, and he never really asked. He just learned to accept it. At first, he thought it was slightly odd, but soon enough, he had accepted it as one of Milo's little quirks. It was kind of cute in Jasper's opinion. However, he never drew attention to it or stopped Milo, not wanting him to feel insecure at all around him. They were best friends and Jasper did not want him to feel bad about something he could not really control. Jazz thanked the other teen as Milo got the door for him and he climbed into the car. Jasper did not have one of his own, well, not at the school anyway. He had one at home. It was nice, and it was expensive. His parents did not want him to have it there, though, with all the students running around. It was too much of a liability or something. Yet, they had no problems with Jazz being there. Their priorities were definitely in place.
Jasper was thinking on all of that as Milo went through his ritual of starting the car four times. He did not even realize that his friend was talking to him until Milo repeated himself, and Jazz immediately felt bad. He had not meant to space out that much. He smiled sheepishly at Milo and brushed his hair back out of his line of sight. "Uhm... I'm not sure. We could go to IHOP? They have lots of choices there." Of course, at places like that, where you did not pick the serving sizes, Jasper had to order something from the kids' portion or one of the light and healthy meals. Otherwise, he would never even get close to finishing what he had. There was always much too much on a plate, and Jazz's stomach just could not take all that much anymore, at least not without getting severely sick, and that would not even be on purpose. "Unless you had a preference, and we could go there. I really don't care as long as it's not the cafeteria." Really, Jazz was just glad that he was not expected to sit in the cafeteria crammed full with too many people, having to eat something that posed as food.
|
[/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Milo Jacob Ryder on Sept 29, 2012 18:16:40 GMT -6
"IHOP it is." Milo said, switching on the radio. It was tuned to the news station, National Public Radio. They were talking about a new strain of swine flu that had been discovered, that was spreading through the South Western United States. It made his skin crawl hearing it, but he couldn't flip the station. He had to hear the rest of the report, because not knowing everything, just knowing a little bit, was more frightening to Milo than knowing everything about it. At least he didn't feel like he was missing out on any essentials for prevention that way. The report ended advising people who might have been exposed to it to go to their doctor if they began to feel under the weather or developed: fatigue, a runny nose, a headache, a sore throat, had difficulty breathing, a cough, or stomach troubles. Milo found himself gripping the steering wheel more tightly, longing to reach for his hand sanitizer.
Why did I have to hear that? Information is the key to prevention. You had to hear that.
The next report was on a study that said that couples who shared housework were more likely to feel positively about gender equality, and he tuned the words out. "So, how has your day been so far?" Milo said, a little absently, as he focused on getting into the parking lot without getting into a collision with the jerk-hole who had been riding his bumper all the way from St. Helena's. It wasn't an uncommon thing really. A lot of the residents around the town objected to having a school for 'deranged' youths in the area. Those town folks who were particularly opposed to the school seemed to think it would be productive to take their frustrations out on the students and staff of St. Helena's by tailgating them and keying their cars in parking lots. Milo had once been followed out of school by one of those creepy towns folk for over thirty minutes--- all the way out to the beach. At that point, the creeper had stopped his car when Milo parked, as if he was going to get out and start something. But, he didn't of course, and just drove away with an ugly look on his face. It actually amused Milo to no end that someone was such an ass hole that they felt the need to waste half an hour of their time just to intimidate some high schooler, and the intimidation thing didn't even work. Milo had gotten a good laugh at the whole thing.
Fortunately, the creepers were the minority in Trinity. Most people didn't care one way or another as long as you kept to yourself and didn't step in their gardens. Milo found a parking spot, and to his irritation the jerk who had been following them sped ahead, as they were about to pull in, and blocked the spot. Milo honked his horn at the guy, but the guy gave him the finger. He did not need this confrontation today, he was already stressed out enough as it was. So, he rolled down his window to talk to the guy, though in retrospect it was probably a bad idea to even attempt to talk to someone who so clearly had it in for you.
"Could you move your car, please, sir?" Milo said, in his most diplomatic voice when the guy finally cranked down the window on his red Camaro.
"You don't tell me what to fuckin' do you fuckin' faggot." The man said, punctuating the sentence by spitting rather eloquently.
"All right... have a nice day then." Milo said, with a tight smile, that hopefully communicated that he had better things to do than be harassed by a person who could think of no better insult than 'faggot'.
"I'm not done talking to you!" The guy said, as Milo began to roll up his window.
"Yeah, well, I'm done talking to you." Milo said under his breath.
"You have something to say to me? Come fuckin' say it to my face you----"
Milo turned to drive away, leaving the guy shouting red faced at the back of his car. "Classy." Milo said, rolling his eyes as the guy flipped him the bird again, and continued following the car. Milo sighed as he finally pulled into a spot and the guy pulled into the spot beside him. "Great. This ought to be interesting." He debated just driving away, but now they were here he was starving, and he wasn't going to let some jerk keep them from having their lunch.
So, Milo made the mistake of stepping out of the car. He ignored the man as he stepped out of his car, and walked calmly over to Jasper's side. "Let's go. Pretend he isn't there."
The man walked two paces behind them all the way to IHOP, and then asked for a table after them. Oh, great. The waitress showed Jasper and Milo over to a booth while the red faced man took the booth behind them. Milo pretended that the man wasn't glaring at them. "You want to go catch a film later? I think they're playing that new Tim Burton thing now." He said, as the waitress went off to get their drinks.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jasper Lee Ryans on Oct 2, 2012 17:18:59 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all…
There were some things about being a student at St. Helena's Academy that Jasper really detested. The general reactions from people in town was one of them. He was not a bad kid, but the moment someone found out that he went to the "crazy school", they all started acting like he was going to kill their dog or something. For someone that was really dependent on what other people thought of him, it was not a good thing, really. However, Jazz tried to not let it bother him. He could kind of understand. Some of the students in the school really were dangerous, after all; and, well, wouldn't it be better to be safe than sorry? However, the ones that did get to him were the ones that taunted, jeered, and were outright just rude. There was no need for that. What had they done to deserve that? The small teen absently worried at his lower lip as they listened to the radio, casting a side glance over to his friend, hoping that the report would not freak him out any. That would just not be good in the slightest. Jasper almost asked him if he was alright when the other teen asked him about his day. "It's been alright," Jasper replied with a nod, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. "Better now that my favorite person's here. S'you, Mi, in case you're confused." The frail teen teased his friend with a soft laugh and a smile, trying to ignore the fact that the same car was on the bumper of the car the entire drive.
Jasper felt like just sinking down into his seat as Milo spoke to the driver that had rudely taken the parking spot that his friend had gone for first. He winced at the man's rather rude word choices and tried to remind himself that it did not matter. He wasted no time in climbing out of the car and following Milo into the place, sighing inaudibly as they took their seats. Jasper ordered a glass of juice, though he really just wanted to stick with water. The juice was healthier than the tap water, however, even if it was heavier on his stomach. "You want to go catch a film later? I think they're playing that new Tim Burton thing now." Jasper nodded a little with a soft laugh and a smile as he sat up a little more in his seat, toying with one of the sugar packets. He had always had a soft spot for Tim Burton films. One of his favorites would always be Nightmare Before Christmas, though Edward Scissorhands was a good second. The remake of Alice had been fantastic in his opinion, and Burton had made Jazz really interested in trying for a part in Sweeney Todd. "That sounds like fun. 'Ve been wanting to see it," Jasper replied, slowly glancing over the menu he had in front of him, honestly not sure what he was going to be able to stomach. The sound of everything made his stomach roll in a very unpleasant way. "I, uhm... never got to ask how your day's been. D'you learn anything interesting today?" Small talk. Jasper often used it as a way to distract himself when picking over a menu. It made it easier to decide on something if he did not think on it so much.
|
[/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Milo Jacob Ryder on Oct 12, 2012 23:36:09 GMT -6
"That sounds like fun. 'Ve been wanting to see it,"
Milo smiled over his menu at Jasper. He ordered a coffee, black. He needed his caffeine fix, even this late in the day, just to keep going. It probably wasn't helping his insomnia much, but he needed to continually drink coffee through out the day in order to stay awake until it was an appropriate time to go to sleep, and by the then he was always too keyed up or worried to get a wink of sleep, which lead to him being exhausted the next day and needing coffee to stay awake... and the cycle of dependence just went on and on.
He wasn't going to think to hard about his caffeine addiction. There were more pressing issues in the world of Milo right then--- Jazz for instance. The fact that he'd just said yes to the invitation, which meant that his evening would not be spent re-writing all of his essays for the week or pacing around in his room. Going out for once would do him some good, and that way he'd be able to keep an eye on Jazz, and wouldn't have to worry about him. His heart was fluttering in his chest at Jasper's acceptance, but he chalked it up to adrenaline from the mild confrontation he'd had with the red faced man.
Speaking of the red faced man, he was still staring at them with that ugly look. It was pathetic, really, that a grown man would go this far out of his way just to show some mere teenagers that he disliked them. It was so childish. Milo would have laughed, if he wasn't so tired. Maybe he'd laugh once he'd had a couple of pots of coffee.
"I, uhm... never got to ask how your day's been. D'you learn anything interesting today?"
"Oh, not really." Milo said. "I almost fell asleep in calc, though." He smiled, though it hadn't been funny in the morning when it had happened. He'd been furious with himself, and he was pretty certain that the professor would dock him a grade for that, but maybe he was over thinking it. After all, he always tested well and it wasn't as if he was the only one who used the period to catch up on z's. It seemed like half of the class was asleep all the time. His mind kept going back to what Jazz had said earlier, about Milo being his favourite person. He hadn't really had time to think about it when Jasper had said it, thanks to the red faced man, but now that his mind had time to catch up on what was happening around him, he wondered what it meant. Jasper, of course, was Milo's favourite person in the world. They were best friends, after all. So, why did it come as such a surprise when Jazz had come out and said it? Wasn't it kind of a given? Was Milo really that insecure about their relationship? No, he just hadn't thought of it that way before. He was always thinking about how much Jazz meant to him, but never about what he might mean to Jasper. It was nice to hear, in any case.
"What about you? Did you finish your story draft for creative writing?" There was another class that Milo had managed to sleep through that day. Well, at least he'd finished his story ahead of time. It was one of those easy assignments, a free write really. They got to pick their own topic, and then just write a ten to twenty page story. The first drafts didn't need to be more than a page of story outline, but Milo, unable to sleep, had gone ahead and finished the whole assignment. He wasn't sure if that made up for the great disrespect sleeping through class probably showed the professor, but it had to count for something.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jasper Lee Ryans on Oct 14, 2012 20:40:30 GMT -6
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Jazz was trying really, really hard to focus on the menu enough to pick something out. He knew that Milo expected him to eat something. He just... he couldn't. He was not hungry, first of all; well, not really. Plus, there was just nothing he felt like he wanted. He was glad for the distraction of choosing though, when Milo answered his question. However, a faint frown tugged on his face when he found out that his best friend had fallen asleep in class again. It scared him, to be honest, to know that Milo had so little sleep that he often fell asleep in class. He knew what little sleep could do to a person, and it was no good. Jazz did not want to see the most important person to him like that. He would have suggested Milo talking to a doctor about getting some sleep aids, but at the same time, he did not really think Milo would take something like that. "Why don't I stay over at your dorm tonight, Mi?" he suggested with a slight smile. It would not be the first time Jasper had camped out in Milo's room, and if it meant that he could try to make sure that Milo got some sleep, he was more than willing to do it again, even if he preferred his own bed. He preferred being around his best friend over that, anyway. "We could work on music stuff before bed." It sounded like a great idea to Jasper, he just hoped that Milo would agree with him. At the question about his creative writing assignment, Jazz shook his head. Assignments for him were never complete until the moment they were handed in. Even then, projects like papers, stories, essays, and the like never felt finished to him. He was always worried they were not good enough. Of course they were not good enough. They could be returned with full marks, and he would still find things that needed adjusted and fixed. It was part of his perfectionist nature. Even multiple choice answers were carefully scrutinized a million times. That was why Jazz had such a hard time with tests. They expected him to be able to answer all those questions in such a short amount of time. It never ended well. "It's still... not right. I'll get it done, though," he replied with a determined nod. He knew it would be, even if it changed directions another five times before it was due, which it was likely to do. It had to be perfect before he turned it in, even though it was just a draft. Jasper absently worried at his lower lip as he looked over the menu once again. He really just could not bring himself to choose anything. It made him want to get sick just at the thought. He flicked his hair out of his eyes after a moment and closed the menu, pushing it closer to Milo. "Why don't you choose something for me, Mi? You know what's better here more than I do." Jasper honestly did not care what Milo chose, as long as he did not have to make a choice himself because he did not want any of it, and he knew Milo knew that. At least if Milo chose something, he'd be able to eat some of it, as much as he could without making himself sick. That was all he could do, but it was better than nothing, right? He was trying to do what everyone said he should. Jasper still did not see that there was anything wrong with him; but, if him eating made Milo feel better, then he would do it, at least when Milo was with him.
|
[/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
|
