Post by Joshua David Anderson on Nov 6, 2012 15:36:48 GMT -6
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] Tell me, how do I feel. Tell me now, how should I feel. The Words: go here The Outfit: Voilà The Date Monday, September 7th, 2020, 9:00 AM He wasn't afraid. He hadn't been afraid when he'd jumped into the water either. What was there to fear? Fishes and worms feeding off of his body? No, he had almost looked forward to that. Almost regretted that he wouldn't be alive to see it. He loved fishes and worms of the sea. He loved everything about it. Maybe he'd been a little bit nervous before he'd jumped, but that had more to do with fear of the cold. It had been a cold morning. But, he'd overcome that fear not long after he hit the water. The rocks were just barely enough to keep him down. And, his lungs had just begun to fill with water when... well, there was no point in dwelling on the rescue. It had been quick and uncomfortable. Some terrified old couple was standing over him while a life-guard type of man attempted CPR. It was colder outside of the water than in it, thanks to the breeze. It was hard to imagine that it was August when that happened. Just a week since everyone had forgotten his birthday. He could remember it clearly, 7:00 AM on August 24th, he'd written 'happy birthday' on the fog on the car window, and then scrubbed it away before anyone could see it. Even Mattie forgot about his birthday. It made Josh sadder than he could articulate to another human being. That was August, and, now it was September. He had been in the car for two-point-five hours. Before then he'd been on an aeroplane. The flight attendant had been annoyed with him after he asked too many questions. But, Josh didn't know that until she asked him to just shut up and sit down. Macy had asked Mattie to come with them to Washington, but he said no. He didn't want to look at Josh any more. The last Josh saw of Mattie was the back of his blonde head as the car pulled out of the driveway, loaded down with suitcases as they made their way to the airport. Josh's first impression of Washington was of dark clouds and thunder. He could see the flashing lights inside of the thunder heads as the plane began its decent into Seattle. It was like watching a war in heaven. It reminded Josh of the civil war for some reason, maybe because it looked so much like the light of canon fire amid the smoke of a million fired muskets and the powder that came from the canon itself. Either way, he couldn't stop talking about the war and nearly got them investigated by the TSA because he was talking about explosions. He didn't mean to cause trouble. The car ride was very quiet. Macy and Robert didn't have anything to say to him any more. He was tempted to open up the door of the rental car and jump into oncoming traffic several times, on the highway. But, he didn't because he knew that it would make Macy and Robert even more upset with him than they already were. He didn't want them to hate him. When they'd finally arrived at the school, Josh was bouncing up and down with excitement. He was going to see Sky! He was finally going to see Sky! He'd missed her so much since she'd been gone. He hoped she wouldn't hate him too. But, if she did at least they would be close together. Maybe if she hated him, she would yell at him all the time and never leave him alone again. Even then, he hoped that she still loved him. He wondered what colour her hair was now. It was constantly changing. It used to confuse him when he was younger. She would come home with completely new hair and make up and he would mistake her for a stranger. They used to have a good laugh about that. She said she'd meet him here. She told Macy that on the phone, and Macy was always right about everything. He unbuckled his seatbelt and rolled down the window so he could lean out and search the crowd for his sister. Then, Robert got cross with him and told him to sit down, buckle up, and roll up the window. Josh wasn't certain of what particular rule he'd violated now, but it didn't matter. He couldn't think of anything but Sky and could feel nothing but excitement. And, then he saw her. He opened up his door while the car was in mid motion and tumbled out. Then, he got up, brushed himself off, and sprinted over to his sister. Blue hair! He loved the colour blue. Blue made sense for some reason. Blue was the colour of the sky and the ocean, and now it was the colour of Sky! "SKY! SKY!" He shouted. She was shorter than he'd remembered. When he went up to hug her, he found that he actually had to bend down to reach her. Had he really grown that much? "Sky!" There were so many feelings that he needed to communicate, but he couldn't find the words for any of them. "Mattie was supposed to be here, but he didn't come." He said. Her hair smelled good, even though he could detect a faint hint of cigarette smoke. What mattered was that she smelled familiar. She smelled like Sky. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and that he'd missed her, that whenever something bad happened he pretended that she was there to coach him through it, like some guardian angel. He wanted to let her know that she was the person he would miss the most if he was dead, if dead people could miss anything. He wanted to let her know that it wasn't her fault at all that she was gone and that he'd attempted to end it all. That was just him. He just wanted to be a part of the ocean, but really nothing was that simple. "Sky..." Was all he could say. He had no words to describe what he was feeling. He felt like laughing and crying all at the same time, but could do neither. Instead, he stood there and held Sky close to him the way she used to cradle him in her arms when he was littler than her. "Sky." |
