influence of a drowsy god [ciel]

[Phoenix James Turner]

November 22nd. 8 pm.

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] just a crack in this castle of glass today he wasn’t sure what was going on. he wasn't focusing in class or anything in particular. in all, he wasn’t having the best of days. he just felt..empty for some reason. and craving, so badly. he could barely still without shaking. he needed something, anything. after his last class, he couldn’t stay inside for much longer. he did think about going to try and track down his friend, but he didn't want to burden him, not really. his friend had his own problems, it wasn’t right to bog him down with his own. gnawing on his lip, he wandered about the streets and managed to acquire a couple bottles of beer from the closest store, with his fake I.D. he was lucky in the sense that he did look slightly older than he was. after he sat on the bench, drinking away his thoughts. his thinking was really plaguing him today. he wasn’t sure what it was, not exactly. the more time he spent with ciel, it seemed to get worse. maybe it was because he thought that he would be rejected. they were just ...friends. that was all it could ever be. he wouldn’t want to complicate his friend's life nor did he want to lose his friendship. not this one. it was far too precious to lose. he hadn’t really been that close to anyone, not even friendwise. he frowned as he downed the last few bottles before staggering in the nearest bar, that thankfully he managed to get in no bother. after a couple of hours of drinking and mindless flirting with a couple of girls, he stumbled out, certainly a little more worse for wear than when he first entered. it was a miracle he got back to the academy, though it did take him awhile. he stumbled about until he wandered inside, not sure what the time was now. luckily none f the staff where about..which was definitely a good thing. if his counsellor saw him now he would certainly ehra about it... he could barely walk straight and was visibly tripping over his own feet, snorting to himself. his vision blurred in front of him as he tried to make it to his dorm. but his direction failed him and he ended up taking a different route. it suddenly dawned on him where he was. right now, he wasn’t thinking straight as he knocked on the door. ”ciel, you there?” he chuckled , for no real reason other than he was completely drunk. he fumbled with the doorknob before pulling it open, and falling flat on his face, bursting into a fit of laughter. ”is this my dorm?” he managed to get in between the laughing, as he tried to pull himself up. WORDS: HERE . TAGGED: ciel . OUTFIT: HERE

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[Ciel Richard Thompson]

you left me here like a chalk outline

-------------------- On the sidewalk waiting for the rain To wash away

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: aa5566; border: #dd6688 solid 4px; width: 490px; padding: 0px;] [style=width: 400px; height:100px; background: transparent; float: right; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:10px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #333333; line-height: 25%;] YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME, BUT THE DEAD CAN'T SPEAK AND THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SAY ANYWAY [style=width: 200px; float: right; background: transparent; text-align; justify; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:8px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #111111; line-height: 80%; text-transform: lowercase;]I've been cold In the crypt But not as the cold as the words across your lips You'll be sorry baby Some day When you reach across the bed where my body used to lay all you left behind is a chalk outline

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He was done with the day, determined to spend the rest of the evening sleeping. Or at least attempting to. Of course, that did not last too long. He lay there for a few minutes before he was up again, going over to the keyboard he had set up in his room. He had to get that stupid little melody out of his head. It had been bugging him all day, and he was pretty sure he could work some of his already written lyrics to it. Of course, they were not exactly the most uplifting of words. He tried to stick away from writing darker songs, tried being the operative word. It did not always go his way, however. Despite using headphones attached to the keyboard, Ciel still kept the volume of the instrument soft, mostly because he was sure he'd end up giving himself a headache if he had it louder. He could still hear if anyone came to the door, not that he was expecting anyone. It was not uncommon for Mickey to randomly drop by, though, and he did not want to just not answer and worry his younger brother. That would be no good at all. Especially since he was there and not... yeah. Ciel absently shifted the bracelets he almost constantly wore on his wrists, flicking the longer strands of his short hair out of his eyes before focusing on the keys. Something told him, as he tried to string together the sounds running through his head, that it was going to be a long night. On top of that, he had this lingering feeling of dread, like something bad was going to happen. He hated when that would bother him, because usually something bad (even if it was slight) would happen. It was never a good sign. Ci tried to ignore it, though. It could just be a fluke. It had to be a fluke. Nothing was going to happen. Nothing. It was going to be a good evening.

Ciel was not working for too long when he heard a knock on the door followed by, "Ciel, you there?" Nix? It sounded like his friend, but he could not be completely sure. Ci took off the headphones and got up to answer the door, only to have it open when whoever was outside seemed to finally be able to get it and he backed up as Phoenix fell into the room, laughing. Ciel was about to ask if the other teen was okay when Nix asked if the dorm was his own, through the continuing laughter, as he got up. Nix was obviously plastered. Again. Ciel frowned slightly as he flicked his hair out of his eyes once again. He really hated when Nix went drinking, but he did not feel it right to really tell him to stop, either. That would be like someone telling him to just stop his own thoughts. It was not that easy. Ci often tried to distract Phoenix from drinking, though, but he was not always successful. Ci did not often, if ever, drink himself; but, he had his reasons, and he never let himself get drunk. That was not an option. "Nix..." Ciel sighed before reaching out a hand to grab the elder boy's arm and help steady him, leading him into the room more. "This is my dorm, and you're trashed." He really wished that Nix would not drink, it kind of hurt, though he knew he should not take it so personally. He hated not being able to do anything for his best friend, though, when Nix was one of the very few reasons he had not made another attempt despite his growing want to. "Maybe we should get you some water, huh?" As much as he hated it, Ci was not going to just not help his friend. Getting water into his system was the best idea, and helping him through the undoubted hangover the next day would definitely happen. Ci wondered if Nix would even remember coming there by morning.

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tagged: Nix ♥ words: 0737 outfit: link notes: ucky word count.

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[Phoenix James Turner]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] just a crack in this castle of glass phoenix had no idea what he was doing. he hadn’t planned to get really wasted today, but once he started, he couldn’t stop, not at just one drink. that had never been the case. he had a problem, though he refused to believe it...though it was becoming more apparent, even to him nowadays. perhaps he was just trying to deny it. but he had to accept that he did..otherwise, he'd never get better, or be happy even. that was what he truly wanted. but was it ever achievable? he had beginning to doubt that for a long time. on the outside, he did seem happy and cheery enough, but it wasn’t what he felt honestly. he just felt conflicted, confused, as if there was no way out, other than to just drink himself stupid. never in a million years did he think his life would be like this. one thing he had told himself repeatedly was that he never wanted to end up like his father but now here he was, not far off from that point. he wasn't thinking straight at the moment, as he was very much confused and very, ver drunk. he wasn’t sure where he was exactly. at first, he did think it was his friend’s dorm, but then his mind ran a blank , thinking he was back in his own. his eyes tried to focus round the room he was in, but he was struggling. everything was either blurry or spinning rather fast. it made him stop laughing for a moment as he pressed his hand to his head. it wasn’t a rare occurrence. this happened an awful lot in his world. he would drink so much, end up passing out and then getting a massive lecture by his counsellor. it was always the same. right now, he wasn't thinking about that, or anything for that matter. all sense of logic went out the window. his eyes glanced over to his friend as he felt a tug on his arm. ”ciel! wait, are you sure you’re not trashed?” he chuckled again as he stumbled upwards. he wasn’t making much sense, nothing was at the moment. he wasn’t sure what he was finding funny, other than he was happy to see ciel. once he was sober..he’d feel guilty for having him to deal with this. he always did. eh shouldn’t of bothered to help him in this state. eh should know better. but fo Nix never did. Nix frowned, shaking his head. ”n, no, I’m perfectly fine” he grinned, slurring his words slightly as he held onto his friend before flopping onto his bed, pulling him along with.”whoops” he laughed, staring up at him. ”i missed you, i missed my buddy. more than you ever know”” he turned to face him, not much effort to sit up as he couldn’t at this point. his words weren’t making sense, but it was in this moment that everything went out the window. all his thinking about how things could never be, how annoying it was to be here. every worry was gone...but he didn’t even need to be drunk, just being around him made him feel slightly better. probably more so than the alcohol though he didn;t realise that,until now. he was what made him truly happy, even if they were just friends...it wasn’t ideal but he didn’t what he'd think. though that was well out the window right now. he was more likely to tell the truth..especially if the opportunity arose.. WORDS: HERE . TAGGED: ciel . OUTFIT: HERE

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[Ciel Richard Thompson]

you left me here like a chalk outline

-------------------- On the sidewalk waiting for the rain To wash away

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: aa5566; border: #dd6688 solid 4px; width: 490px; padding: 0px;] [style=width: 400px; height:100px; background: transparent; float: right; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:10px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #333333; line-height: 25%;] YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME, BUT THE DEAD CAN'T SPEAK AND THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO SAY ANYWAY [style=width: 200px; float: right; background: transparent; text-align; justify; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:8px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #111111; line-height: 80%; text-transform: lowercase;]I've been cold In the crypt But not as the cold as the words across your lips You'll be sorry baby Some day When you reach across the bed where my body used to lay all you left behind is a chalk outline

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Honestly, Ciel really was tired with how often his friend would end up drunk. He felt like a bad person to try to tell him to stop, though. It just... was not right, at least Ci did not think so. He had actually mentioned it a few times when Nix was drunk, but the other teen had never remembered it. It was the whole lapse in memory thing that had Ciel sometimes thinking of telling Nix the truth about why it bothered him so much when the other teen drank, which had to do with the extent of his feelgs for the other teen. There was a high chance that Phoenix would not remember it the next day. However, the faint chance of him remembering was why Ciel had yet to do so. Plus, there was a chance that the rejection could be worse with Phoenix being drunk. He was not exactly himself, after all. "ciel! wait, are you sure you’re not trashed?" Ci sighed inaudibly at the question with a shake of his head that he did not know if his friend actually saw. He did not drink. It mixed badly with anti-depressants, after all. Of course, Ci did not really take those, though he led people to believe he did. He had "accepted" to take them in the beginning of November, but he just flushed them instead. What good would they do beyond making him numb to the world? He would rather be miserable than emotionless. "No, Nix, you are trashed," Ciel clarified for the other teen. He thought about just letting Nix stumble over to the bed alone while he went to get the elder boy some water, but there was a chance Phoenix might stumble into his keyboard or guitar, and he would not be happy if either of those ended up broken.

The younger teen shook his head a little with a faint frown as Phoenix stated that he was fine. Nix was obviously not fine. "If you were fine, you wouldn't be here right now, would you?" Ci replied. Of course, there was a chance that Nix would have been there even if he was not drunk; but, Ciel doubted it since Nix had not been there before drinking. Ci wondered why the other teen decided to come to him, though, out of all the people he could have. "Almost surprised you're here anyway. Shouldn't you be sleeping with another drunken hook up?" he asked, unable to keep the slight bitterness from his tone. If there was anything Ci disliked more than Nix drinking, it was him sleeping around. It was not as though he had any sort of claim on his friend or anything. It just... annoyed him. He almost wished that Nix would settle with one person, even if it was not him. Not that it was possible it could be him. That would be something good, which just did not happen in his life. Ciel gasped in shock as Phoenix tugged him down onto the bed as well, but he did not move to get up. If he did, it was likely he'd get tugged back into place, anyway. Ci had gone through this before. "I missed you, i missed my buddy. more than you ever know." Ciel always missed Nix when he was not around; he guessed that was what happened when you really liked someone. However, he never really admitted it unless they had spent a decent amount of time apart, such as if either of them got sent to solitary for a while. Ciel had been there a couple times for skipping class, therapy, or mouthing off to a teacher. "Yeah, well, right now I miss my best friend," Ciel mumbled as he leaned up to rest on his elbow, knowing that Nix would not have heard the words. He sighed and pulled a stray leaf off of Phoenix's shoulder, tossing it aside. "I hate when you drink like this, Nix. It just... it makes me really sad." Ciel knew that the other teen was able to hear that statement, and he had intended for Nix to. There was little chance that the elder boy would remember anyway. "It just... it sucks seeing you like this, 'cause..." Ci broke off his words and shook his head a little, once again talking himself out of pushing things any farther than that. He always really wanted to tell the truth whenever they got really close like that, though; and, despite a part of him wanting to pull away, he could not keep himself from staying as close to Phoenix as he could get.

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tagged: Nix ♥ words: 0772 outfit: link notes: XD

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