Post by Nicolas Damion Holmes on Oct 13, 2012 18:26:02 GMT -6
N I C O L A S DAMION H O L M E S !
an empty room, i'm empty too and everything ,
[/i][/color][/size][/font]an empty room, i'm empty too and everything ,
r e m i n d s m e o f y o u. s o m a n y t h i n g s i s h o u l d n 't h a v e m i s s e d. t h e m o r e t h a t i p u s h,
and the more you resist. it's easy to say it's for the best when you want more while you leave me with less.[/color][/font]
[/color] Nicolas Damion HolmesFull Name:
Nicknames: Nick. Doesn’t like being referred to by his last name
Age: Sixteen
Birthdate: January 20th
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Gender: Male
Problem: Schizophrenic
Grade: Sophomore
Clique(s): Loner
Classes:
i know you're fine, but what do i do ?[/i][/color][/size][/font]
i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e, a n d t r y i n g, w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g
like a babe beside him. i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]
[/color] 5’8½”Height:
Weight: 157 lbs.
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Notable Features: He has a small beauty mark on his face. Other than that, there's nothing really.
Play-By: Simon Nessman
General Description: Nicolas has a naturally stern and serious look about himself with his stony, chiseled face and with his strong jaw-line that becomes more prominent whenever he clenches his teeth together in stress, frustration or when he’s deep in thought. He’s exceptionally hygienic, more than an average boy his age stereotypically should, and his normal attire consists of a nice dress shirt and some pants. He doesn’t keep up with the trends but he does make an effort to dress nicely according to what he believes is classy and humble, if you exclude the worn-down shoes he wears since he only gets a new pair when the old ones are wrecked. When he wants to go casual he usually puts on a shirt, shirt jacket and jeans and the only time he would ever strip down to a t-shirt or tank top would be when it’s excruciatingly hot during the summer.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]
and i know you see me, and you're making it ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
l o o k s o e a s y. w h a t c o m e s a n d g o e s, i 'd g o w i t h o u t. i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e b u t w h a t a b o u t
fallout , fallout , fallout, through the fallout. fallout, fallout, through the fallout. well now there's him,[/color][/font]
[/color]Likes:
- Cleanliness
- Listening to music
- Quiet and rainy days
- Math
- People who are genuinely goodhearted[/ul]
Dislikes:
- Drugs and alcohol[/ul]
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Fears:
Disorders: Undifferentiated schizophrenia (though closely resembling the paranoid subtype), FTD, insomnia, and mild OCD.
General Description: Nicolas suffers from auditory hallucinations and visual hallucinations of his deceased mother, though he suffers from the former much more frequently. There are three different tones and behaviors that he's able to hear. One is caring and loving, one is frightened and pleading, and the last is mocking and overbearing, which leads doctors to believe that he’s able to hear three separate ‘people,’ who happen to be different versions of his mom. The loving version of his mother is the one that he sees physically manifest while he’s never seen the scared or overbearing one outside from his nightmares. He also has a habit of always checking over his shoulder and looking behind him when he walks, always feeling a presence behind him or that someone is whispering in his ear, though he’s not entirely sure if this particular presence is his mother or if it’s a fourth ‘person’ altogether.
Sometimes, due to anxiety or stress, he ends up speaking in word salad – a manifestation of formal thought disorder (FTD) where he says a string of random words that, although are clearly trying to communicate something, sounds like absolute gibberish (a good example is Noam Chomsky’s famous phrase, “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously”). He’s never aware when he does it or how to stop whenever it’s pointed out. It’s one of the many things he’s self-conscious about and is a surefire way to make him feel vulnerable. So far, not many people know about it besides family members, staff and close friends.
He constantly has to keep his hands busy. Weather it be doodling, writing, taping his fingers on the table, playing with a small ball, cracking his knuckles one finger at a time, clenching them into fists and unclenching them, anything to keep his hands moving. Just like his FTD, he’s never fully aware of it, only consciously taking note of it when he tries to keep them still. It’s not extremely severe though. He just fidgets a lot when he’s in public or in an area with many people because he’s uncomfortable being around others. However, when he’s writing or reading it’s not as bad so he tries to keep himself busy, always having a book or journal in hand when he knows he going to be in a difficult situation.
Because he’s never been in a relationship with a girl before nor has he ever expressed his interest with the opposite sex, some people – mostly family members – think that he’s stuck in the closest. The truth is, he’s just verrrrrry romantically challenged. He’s lived around women and girls all his life that he doesn’t know how to react towards other girls that might find him attractive (romantically, sexually, or otherwise) let alone how he’ll react if he himself ends up liking a girl. Basically, he’s refusing to leave his “EW GIRLS” stage that he had when he was a kid and tries the hardest he can to avoid his hormonal feelings, which he succeeds by not associating with girls at all. This, unfortunately for him, only works to an extent since he’s still able to have crushes (even if he tries to deny them).
It’s not just girls that he tries to avoid; it’s pretty much everybody. He doesn’t like people. Even before he developed his schizophrenia he liked keeping to himself and now that he’s older he goes through a vicious loop of being socially awkward because he’s antisocial, and being antisocial because he’s socially awkward. There are some people that he’s able to tolerate and endear, but it’s only a small handful.
He despises change and it takes him a longer time to adapt when it happens, becoming easily agitated in the process. He has a strict morning routine that he follows to groom himself and get him prepared, and if anything changes or somehow throws him off track, he’ll feel like utter crap the rest of the day and be more harsh and bitter towards people. He’s also a strong germaphobe, always having this need to stay clean and, more specifically, the need to wash his hands. He doesn’t go onto a full on panic attack or feel as though the germs are eating his skin, but he’s able to feel the germs fester and has a compulsion to wash them off even if his hands aren’t that dirty. Sometimes after a strong nightmare, he’s able to see blood on his hands and he spends the rest of the early morning trying to wash it off until his hands are chapped and pink, but at least clean.
Ink, although the hardest to wash off, doesn’t bother him as much as normal dirt and grime since it usually comes from his pen when he writes, which is really the only thing he enjoys doing the most. He tries to keep his writing on the down low, since he believes it’s not a particularly manly activity to write in a diary (which he will vehemently insist on calling a ‘journal’ since that sounds less girly) and mostly because he’s insecure about his writing capability. So it’s not something he exactly likes to boast about, though he’s not very good at hiding his fondness for it either.
And yes he knows that he enjoys writing and reading fiction and that his last name is Holmes so of course he knows about Sherlock. He would appreciate it if people would stop making jokes about it already.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]
and now there's me. the secrets you give ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
a n d t h e s e c r e t s y o u k e e p. a n d n e v e r t h e l e s s, i t 's n e v e r y o u l e t. t h e m o r e t h a t i g i v e
and the less that i get. don't tell me to fight, to fight for you. after this long, i shouldn't have to[/color][/font]
[/color] Sara E. Holmes (deceased)Mother:
Father: Alec L. Holmes
Siblings: Melody (24), Serenity (18), Rebecca (15), Amber (14), Belinda (12), Corin (8), Coco (8), Mina (2)
Pets: N/A
Other: Elizabeth B. Holmes (stepmother), Amy C. Holmes (stepmother), Stephanie M. Holmes (stepmother)
History: Nicolas is the only boy in a family of nine children. His father is a polygamist, married to three women at once, having married four in total. So already off the bat life is a little complicated for Nick.
Though he quickly caught onto the fact that having more than one mom was considered uncommon, Nick wasn’t always the bitter kid that he’s known as today. He was still pretty reserved and quiet when they would go out but he was a reckless and playful kid at home, pulling pranks on his sisters and being an average annoying younger brother. But as he matured, he calmed down and started noticing more serious and complex things that went deeper than just his family structure, like the rapid decline of his mother’s mood.
Nick was never really close with his father and though his stepmothers (Elizabeth and Any) did take turns in caring for him they couldn’t hold a candle to his biological mom. Sara was always cheerful and spoke in a soft, dreamy tone. She’d even sing in the middle of her sentences if she were happy enough and had a carefree attitude, yet knew when to be stern and when to scold Nick if he had been acting rowdy that day or had done something wrong. So when Nick started noticing that she wasn’t singing as much as she used to and was growing more distant, he became worried. He would find her in her office late at night crying and talking to herself, though never saying anything comprehensible, and would stare at nothing for hours until someone snapped her attention away from whatever she was thinking. Nicolas, along with his biological sister, Amber, seemed to be the only ones who noticed or cared about their mother’s deteriorating mind, while the rest of their family seemed to have turn a blind eye towards the whole ordeal. Both Nicolas and Amber tried to help out their mother to their best of their ability but sadly, it wasn't enough.
Sara took her life when Nick was thirteen, which made him spiral into a deep depression. The fact that it only took six months before his father decided to marry another woman and another six months to announce that they were having a child was a strong indication that none of his parents ever cared for his mother at all.
That’s when he started hearing his mother’s voice.
It started off quietly, whenever it’d be dark and he was in bed. He kept thinking that he was able to hear his mother singing a lullaby to him, like how she would when he was a child. At first he thought he was automatically trying to remind himself of happier times so that he’d be able to sleep peacefully at night, but slowly her voice became louder and more defined.
Sometimes her voice was quiet but definitely echoing somewhere in the distance. Other times it sounded like she was right behind him, shouting his name sternly as though he were in trouble. It didn't take long until he was able to hear full on sentences and frightening demands that his mother wanted him to do. Once he realized that these weren’t his own thoughts, he became frightened but decided to keep all of this to himself because his mother told him to and because he believed that it actually was her, and he wanted to hold on to her. Sometimes, he still believes that she’s real, susceptible to following her orders or believe the visual hallucinations without getting surprised by her physical manifestation and instead taking her presence as common as casually passing a friend in the hallway. Everything is just so… real.
He stayed quiet for about two years, until one day his mother convinced him that his father had killed her, and that he had covered it up to look like a suicide. When he thought his father was alone, Nicolas attacked him with a cooking knife with the intent to kill him and avenge his mother. He was able to stab him in the chest, but it only pierced his father’s shoulder and missed the heart. Nick was incapacitated by two of his older sisters and a stepmother until someone called 911, where he started shouting about his mother and revealing that he could see and hear her.
After both he and his father were taken to the hospital, Nick was given a diagnostic exam and eventually was diagnosed with schizophrenia. They deliberated on what they were going to do with him until they got a tip from their oldest child, Melody. She had moved out and graduated from a college in Washington and was currently working in a school for troubled teens called St. Helena’s Academy. So they decided to send Nick away to St. Helena’s along with Amber for good measure (they did come from the same, senile mother after all) and sent another sister, Rebecca, about a month after when she admitted to having attempted suicide herself and that she wanted to seek help.
He found his ‘vice’ in writing shortly after attending St. Helena’s. He had found an unused
i know you're fine, but what do i do? i know ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e a n d t r y i n g w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g l i k e a
babe beside him.i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]
[/color] FayeAlias:
Age: 19
Time Zone: PDT
Other Characters: Victor David Birenbaum & Eleanor “Jamika” Treehorn
Code Words: ‘Ello![/justify][/blockquote][/size]
this template was made by alice. it uses the lyrics
for "fallout" by marianas trench. do not steal,
alter, edit, or use without her permission or she will
send the evil monkey in her closet after you. you have
been warned.[/i][/center]
