meetings -- kain

[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0506 WORDS FOR KAIN so sorry that it's late. i've been busy and sickly. D: also, bear with me. i'm still getting a feel for damon so he might be a bit odd. XD DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;] "Yeah, yeah," Damon said with a fond eye roll at Evangeline, parting with a wave and a smile. "See ya 'round, darlin'." Damon sighed inaudibly as he walked from the teachers' lounge down the hall toward his office. He needed to get ready to see his first student of the day. It was a kid he had not seen before. Kain, he believed the teen's name was. The file he had on the student did not give him much information, and what was there seemed incomplete. Damon was not sure what to expect with the guy. He had a photo, schooling information, and that was about it. There was no psychological evaluation, no hospital release papers, no police reports; nothing. He would have to figure out if it was because there was really nothing wrong with the boy, or go have a word with the new intern down in the filing room for losing important documents. Running a hand through his already rumpled hair, Damon unlocked the room with his name attached to it, and went inside. Once he flipped the lights on, he shrugged off his leather coat, tossing it onto the extra chair in the corner. His office had a very laid-back feel to it, though not quite as much as his college-friend, Alaric's. That guy was just a bit crazy, though he was a good friend to have. The two of them had never been all that close, but it was nice to have a familiar face at the school. Plus, Ric had been kind enough to help him get his job. Pushing the sleeves of his blue and black striped sweater, Damon went to open the shades in the windows, and then went to put the guitar he had dropped off earlier into the closet. He did not leave it out when any of the students came into the office. It was just a precaution. It made him feel a bit guilty, because he wanted to trust them all. However, their mental states would mean that there was every chance they could attempt to steal the expensive instrument if they knew it was there, or they could get angry and destroy it. Neither option was one that Damon wanted to risk. There were a few students that he had gotten to know a bit more in the weeks he had been working, and he trusted them enough to not worry about it so much. They were the more timid teens that rarely spoke, however. Generally, it was with musically inclined students because it gave them an ice breaker, something mutual to talk about. Music, he had learned, really could save lives. Sama'el turned on the small radio on his desk, playing music as he sat there, working on paperwork until he heard a knock on the door. A glance at the clock on the wall told him that it was hopefully the student he was supposed to see. "Door's open," he called, stretching a little while reaching over to turn off the radio. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kain opened his eyes to look at the up light filtering beautifully through his blind covered window. This place was still unfamiliar to him and reminded him of an almost pleasant jail cell. It wasn’t really a jail cell though, he could leave his room. The room was really a dorm room at the school that was supposed to fix him. Or rather, the school his parents hoped would fix him. According to his parents there was something seriously wrong with him. After all, boys were not supposed to like boys. Maybe he was broken, but he doubted the school was going to fix it. No, this was a more permanent broken, a broken that was coded into his hormones. If he was broken then he was broken from birth.

A small sigh escaped his lips as he stood from his perch on the side of his bed. It was almost time for him to meet with the counselor. To be honest Kain wasn’t entirely sure why he was assigned a counselor. Surely there were other students who more desperately needed the assistance of them. Kain ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to smooth the chaotic brown locks, for the most part this solution worked. He dropped his hand to his red suspenders and fingered them gently. They’d been a gift from his last boyfriend, that had ended so suddenly and he was sent here. The boy wouldn’t even speak to Kain now. It hurt. He forced a smile and reached for the final element to his outfit, a red cardigan that matched his plaid shirt and suspenders nicely.

He left the somewhat familiar surroundings of his tiny shared room and headed to the office of the counselor. The night before Kain had stayed up wondering what the man would be like. He was afraid he’d be all fire and hell like his parents. Kain didn’t need someone to yell at him and tell him he was an abomination. What the hell gave them the right to tell him who to love? Nevermind, he knew that answer. God gave them the right, wasn’t that how it went? God didn’t seem very loving; he seemed to be a monster in his eyes. How much blood had been shed over Him?

Kain pushed thoughts of religion and God out of his mind and walked to the counselor’s office without tripping once. He knocked timidly and was told the door was open. His brown eyes moved over to his counselor, relief set in. This man seemed almost normal, he was the opposite of what he thought he’d be. "Hi," Kain started awkwardly, "I'm guessing you're my counselor man?"

[/b] He wasn't exactly sure how this counseling thing was supposed to go down, he'd never been required to be counseled before.



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HERE&HERE his outfit.

[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0522 WORDS FOR KAIN ... laawls, i just realized i posted the original notes for this template. oops. DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]"I'm guessing you're my counselor man?" Damon nodded a little, taking a moment to study the teen. He seemed unsure, but not overly introverted like most of the students that walked through his door. He didn't seem to be physically weighted down by sadness, something that he had learned to pick up on a lot of the more depressed and suicidal teens. Of course, that did not mean that the kid did not have some kind of disorder or anything. "Yessir. 'M Damon. You can take a seat if you want. Your name's Kain, correct?" Honestly, this was the first time Damon was unsure how to handle the introduction period with one of the students. Usually, he had more information on the student's enrollment into the school. The lack of things on this student just had him in kind of a confusion. He guessed keeping things simple until he figured it out would be the best way. He waited for Kain to either sit down or continue standing before he actually continued speaking. "I'm new to the school as well. You don't have to call me 'sir' or anything of the like. Just 'Damon' is fine. I'd like to get to know you a bit more, if that's alright with you." The counselor crossed his arms, resting them on top of the desk as he absently moved slightly more forward on his rolly chair. He really loved those things. They could be quite distracting if he let them be. Of course, right at that moment was not the best time to let himself get distracted by anything. He needed to study the teen's body language, the way he spoke, what he actually said. All of it was very important. The initial meeting, Damon had found, was always the most crucial. If he could not develop some sort of connection with the kid, even if it was them still being wary but willing to talk a little, it was highly unlikely he would ever get through to them. That scared him a lot more than he would admit. Such as Ciel Thomas, one of the students he saw. The kid would talk about anything except his problems. Damon was not sure how long Ciel would be one of the students he counseled, but he would try his hardest to get through to the boy before he was switched to someone else, if that were to happen. Ciel, at least, Damon could understand more than the unknown boy in his office right at that moment. Kain was definitely one of the more intriguing students he had seen, if only because he had next to no information on him. "It seems that part of your file is missing from my information. Can you tell me exactly why you think you've been enrolled here at St. Helena's?" Whether or not Damon actually had that information, he would ask the students that came in a similar question. Hearing in their own words why they believed they were there at the Academy was a great way to get an insight as to where they were mentally and emotionally. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The way the older man was looking at him caused the blood to rush to his cheeks. In a way he felt like he was being examined. It made him feel really uncomfortable. He felt like the man was looking at him for something. He didn’t like it. The glance really made him feel out of place as if he was an outsider in a place he did not belong. He didn’t really belong here, but apparently his parents thought that he did. They thought he was sick or just wrong. Secretly he hoped to earn his parents praise again. Kain didn’t want them to look at him in disgust like the day his dad walked in on him and his ex.

Did they even love him anymore?

”Uh… Yeah. Kain is my name.” He wasn’t entirely positive how this was going to pan out. What did this counselor know about him? Had he heard anything from his parents? God this was so uncomfortable. He took a few steps farther into the man’s office at his command and took a seat on the first seat he came to. Kain wondered if this man had any interactions with his parents or if he was required to give them updates with his progress. Was he the one who was expected to cure him? He shoved those thoughts from his head.

Damon. That’s his name. Was he going to try and be his friend? Alright, he could deal with that, but he kept his guard up. He just didn’t understand how this man was going to help him with his problems. Gay wasn’t something anyone could cure. There were ways to hide it, but it wouldn’t go away. There was no way it would go away. The female body was just repulsive. He could hide it, but he wouldn’t settle down with a nice girl like his mother and father wanted him to. It was just impossible for him. He could lie to his parents about being gay, as much as it hurt him to have to do so, but he wasn’t going to lie to himself. That just sounded so wrong. No, he’d give this man the benefit of the doubt. The dude could know nothing about it; in fact he could be a good guy.

”I’m gay.” he said simply after a moment, there was nothing else wrong with him. He was sane, he got good grades, and he never really got into serious trouble. Kain was an average teenager just trying to make their way in the world. He smiled at his counselor halfheartedly, hoping that he’d get the message. He really didn’t want to talk about his family life with a stranger. Actually, he didn’t want to talk about his family at all. It was embarrassing for him and it made him a little sad. He hoped that he’d admitted enough, that the man wouldn’t ask any more questions and think he was lying through his teeth.

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HERE&HERE his outfit.

[/quote]

[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0526 WORDS FOR KAIN okay so damon pretty much amuses me DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]The counselor absently twisted the pen cap around the pen he held as he waited for Kain to give him some kind of an answer. He was not sure what he was expecting, but whatever it had been was not the answer that he had gotten. Damon blinked slowly as the kid told him that he was gay and the man arched an eyebrow faintly. "Well, uhm, thank you for that bit of information; but, I wasn't really asking about your sexual preference," Damon said, though not unkindly. Honestly, the kid's choice in lovers was really none of his business, as far as he was concerned. He, himself, did not really believe in set sexualities. Love was love, lust happened outside sexual binaries, and... Well, it took until that moment for Damon to realize just what the kid was telling him. He raised a hand, brow furrowing as he looked at the student in front of him. "Hold up. You were sent here because you like boys? The fuck is that bullshit?" Okay, so, maybe it wasn't the best choice of words for a professional, but the entire situation did not feel the most professional. Who sent their kid to a, basically, mental ward for being gay? The poor guy. Damon scowled a little and pushed aside Kain's file, reaching up to ruffle his blond hair with a sigh. "Okay, uhm, this is... Er... excuse my language. I didn't just say that, m'kay?" Damon really had no idea what to do now. This kid did not need psychiatric help. He just needed a friend, and maybe a hug. He would pass on the hug, though, simply because it might be awkward. Damon tapped his fingers on the desk, trying to decide what to do next. "Uhm... this is... This is just messed up, yeah? You really don't belong here; but, I guess you're kinda stuck, aren't ya?" Damon sighed and smiled warmly at the teen sitting in front of him. It had to completely suck. Damon did not think he'd have handled it as well as Kain was doing. "Well... we're supposed to talk for at least an hour every week, so... I dunno... S'there anything you'd like to talk about or would you rather just work on homework til you can head out?" The counselor really had no idea what else to do here. He did not need to evaluate the boy, nor did he really need to provide counseling, unless Kain wanted it. He would always be there to listen to anyone who wanted to talk, but more as a friend and less like a therapist. Damon was really just at a loss as to what to do here. He sighed once more and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "You know that's a stupid excuse to be sent here, right? There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay." He wanted to make sure that Kain did realize that his parents sending him to St. Helena's for that was completely wrong, though honestly, not unheard of. It did not stop Damon from wishing he could knock some sense into some of the parents. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kain frowned. He didn’t want to explain his situation further; he always ended up making excuses for his parents. It wasn’t fair. It was a situation that he just wanted left alone. Wait, why would the man just brush that off? It wasn’t as if every gay person went around yelling their sexual orientations from the hills. Wouldn’t it have been obvious there was more to it than him just telling a stranger what gender he preferred? He bit his lip trying to think of a way for string together some words that would explain his outburst without putting the spotlight on his parents. It was probably impossible though. There had to have been someone who deemed it necessary to throw Kain to this place. The first person, or people, the counselor would look at would be his parents.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek gently debating. It seemed as though this man didn’t know anything about him or his parents. That was good though, it meant that his parents didn’t have their fingers in this place. It was nice, but at the same time he was sure this man was going to force him to talk about his problems whether he wanted to or not. That was what this counseling thing was about, right? Then again recently he’d be questioning what things were about. His eyes shifted from his counselor to his desk. He wasn’t sent here because he was troubled, he was sent here because he troubled his parents. This was something that he was going to have to learn and accept.

”Hold up.” Kain froze, his gaze shifting back to his counselor. Damon, not counselor, Damon, he thought to himself. His eyes widened as a string of profanities left his counselor’s mouth. It was the first time he’d heard a teacher figure string together such colorful words, more importantly though Damon hit the nail on the head. Good. It meant that he wouldn’t have to explain such an embarrassing situation. ”Yeah, I guess that’s one way to look at it,”

[/b] he added lamely. There he went again, starting to make excuses for his parents. He needed to stop clinging desperately to his parents being flawless people. They clearly weren’t very accepting parents, he knew that and yet he kept making excuses.

Kain smiled, ”Alright, I don’t really care one way or the other.” Cursing never bothered him. The fact that Damon cursed really amused and entertained him. He scooted back more on the chair so that he was more comfortable. Kain had done his fair share of cursing in his life for a variety of reasons. ”I mean it’s not a big deal. School is school anywhere, right?”[/b] Kain said, forcing a smile. This school was different though. There were people here with serious problems that came here for help and then there was Kain. ”An hour sounds easy enough. I’m not exactly exciting but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.”[/color] he said smiling up at the older man. An hour wasn’t too long, sure he’d rather be banging on his drums somewhere, but he’d accept one hour of sitting around.

”Well maybe, but my parents believe that it’s a legitimate reason for me to be here. So I guess I accept that.” He bit his lip gently, he really needed to stop standing up for his parents. He just needed to accept that there was nothing he was going to do to make his parents love him the same as before. ”I know there’s nothing wrong with being gay. I know that it’s just certain people have a hard time accepting it.” he smiled sadly.

He always found it ironic that the God his parents prayed to seemed to accept differences, but his parents couldn’t. There was a song he used to sing in Sunday school about Jesus loving all the children who were all colors, apparently that didn’t translate to different colored sexualities.



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HERE&HERE his outfit.

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[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0566 WORDS FOR KAIN word count is slowly going up XD DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]Sama'el really could not wrap his mind around the fact that the teen's parents had sent him to the school for being gay. Maybe they were the ones that should be locked up in the place. It would be the least cruel course of action, at least. The teen in front of him did not need to be trapped in a school with kids that had real issues. Some of the students were completely mentally unstable and violent. Did Kain's parents even realize the unneeded risk they put their son in to? Damon frowned faintly as he absently ran a hand through his blond hair again, sinking down into his seat so that he was slouching. He smiled softly at the other boy, though, when Kain told him that he did not mind talking for an hour. "I'm sure you're more interesting than you give yourself credit for, Kain," Damon replied with a soft laugh. "Most everyone views themselves as being a very boring person. I say the same about myself, really. I don't have much of a life. I work and I go home to work on more work things." Damon chuckled a bit, absently tidying up the top of his desk, simply to have something more to do than just sit there. "Are you interested in any of the clubs or sports the school offers? They'd at least give you somethin' more do do with your time, hon." The pet name went unnoticed by the teacher who tended to use similar ones with everyone, regardless of age or gender. He grew up in a town in which things like that were normal, so it just kind of stuck with him, as did his faintly southern accent. They were just a few lingering reminders of the home he used to have. Damon sighed inaudibly and nodded a little as the student stated that he knew there was nothing wrong with being gay. That, at least, was a good thing. Damon had been worried there for a few moments that the kid had been brainwashed into believing there really was something wrong with him that needed to be fixed. There were people out there that were like that. Damon was highly thankful that Kain was not one of those people. "Good. It is rather sad that there are those who have a hard time accepting it, and 'm really sorry that your parents are some of them." Really, if only Damon could give them a piece of his mind. Okay, it'd probably end up being a piece of his fist and his mind; but, close enough. "My parents were never really fond of me taking boys home, either. Pretty sure Ma damn near fainted the first time it happened." Damon chuckled a little at the memory of what had been a more simple time, back before the fiasco with his ex-girlfriend. Those thoughts were quickly shoved aside, though, as Damon focused on the student in the room. He only offered a bit of his own personal experiences, because he had learned that things like that often made someone a bit more comfortable and relaxed, when they were being talked with instead of talked to. Plus, it wasn't a therapy session; at least, Damon was not treating it like one. He would not take notes or anything, not even after the kid left. There was no point. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

”Maybe you’re right, but in my opinion I’m nothing more than average. I’m not exactly what you’d call exciting. “ Kain really didn’t mind being average, of course there were some days where he wished he was more so. Some days he wished that he’d go out and party or do something that normal teenagers were supposed to do. He never did any of it though. He stayed at home and played drums or went over to friend’s houses to eat junk food. Yes, that was probably the most exciting thing Kain had ever done. He’d never snuck out, gotten wasted or high. To be honest though, he never really wanted to get drunk or high. Sneaking out seemed more fun, he probably wouldn’t have even had to sneak out, he could have just walked out of his house. His parents weren’t strict about that. They didn’t care what Kain got up to as long as he wasn’t gay, right.

He smiled a little. ”Well that seems more exciting than what I have.”

[/b] he said looking down at his fingers awkwardly. So far Kain knew that he could sneak into the music room and play drums, the only problem was that drums were incredibly loud. Incredibly loud didn’t usually go along with sneaking. Who knew, maybe he didn’t even have to sneak. He hadn’t really been there long enough to know how everything worked. Drums would make this more exciting, they made everything more exciting. Drums were loud, beautiful and important. He bit his lip and looked back up to his counselor. ”I mean I’m sure working here can be pretty exciting.” Pretty exciting… yeah right. It was probably really sad too. His eyes glanced back up to the other. He probably wouldn’t be able to work somewhere like this. He couldn’t believe he’d referred to it as exciting. It was like a teenage wasteland.

His face turned a little pink as Damon referred to him as hon. The only person who used pet names like that was his mother. His exboyfriend used to call him babe, but that was different. He didn’t even blush from embarrassment; it was just something his face did… all the time. It was so annoying. Kain thought about his actual question for a moment. ”I don’t know. I can’t do sports. I’ll die or end up in the hospital. And I don’t know what clubs you really have here.” he said, relaxing a little more into the seat. He was clumsy; he had scars to prove it. As for clubs, he’d never really joined any. He was in band back in his other high school, but that wasn’t really a club.

Kain shrugged. ”I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually. Heck maybe even my parents will get over it eventually.”[/b] he didn’t know who he was trying to reassure more. He doubted his parents would ever get over the fact he was gay. They were religious and old fashioned. ”I didn’t even get to come out to them in a normal way.” he said sighing. Would sitting them down and telling them have worked better? No probably not of course maybe then his ex wouldn’t hate him. If his ex didn’t hate him then maybe he’d have someone to talk to who wasn’t family. Well, not even family, his sister. His sister was pretty much his only ally at home. He looked back at his counselor and smiled. ”You’re gay too?” Kain sounded hopeful. He’d never really met anyone outside of college who was gay.

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HERE&HERE his outfit.

[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0697 WORDS FOR KAIN huzzah :) DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]"I mean I’m sure working here can be pretty exciting." Damon chuckled softly at Kain's statement and absently ruffled his blond hair again as he settled back in his chair, swinging side to side in it. "I guess that's one way to put it," he replied with a nod and a slight smile. "It's definitely rewarding, a bit disheartening at times, but..." He shrugged a little, figuring that the teen could easily figure out why the job had it's ups and downs. Damon enjoyed getting to help people and be a support system for those that needed it. He hated seeing such good kids spiral out of control, though, losing themselves in their problems. Honestly, if he could find a way to just take away all the bad things for each of them, he would. There were very few students that Damon believed were beyond help. To date, the only one he could really think of was Vital Sage. That kid was a right piece of work. Damon was not sure he would be able to handle a case like that and he almost felt sorry for the counselor that had to deal with the kid. However, it was silly to dwell on things like that, and Sama'el focused on the conversation at hand, absently toying with the nameplate on his desk that had his first name on it instead of "Damon", which was the name he went by. He needed to get a replacement, but the first one was provided by the school using his official records, which, sadly, his first name was on. Sometimes, he did not quite understand his parents' decision to keep up with the whole old school name thing, but whatever. He hummed a little in thought when Kain asked about the school's clubs, trying to remember what options there were. He did not have much association with any of the clubs, so naming them off the top of his head was not an easy task. "I think we've got one for drama. I know there's one for students with all A's, and one you've got to test to get into. Chess, Spanish... uh, FFA, and... FCCLA?" he laughed a little and rolled his eyes at himself. "Ugh, I should probably know better than I do about what the school offers. I don't spend too much time on the academic side, though; I'm really just a substitute teacher, so..." Damon guessed that was not much of an excuse, but was personally just letting it slide. He was new to the school, after all. "I didn’t even get to come out to them in a normal way." This peaked his interest a bit and Damon laughed a little as he sat up straight again. "I'm not exactly sure there is a 'normal way'," he commented with a shake of his head. "But, how did you? I know I casually told my mother that I had a boyfriend at dinner. She did not really believe me until I brought him over, which I just mentioned about. Dad just kind of passed me the mashed potatoes and left it at that." He shrugged a little with a slight laugh. His dad had pretty much refused to acknowledge Damon being with any guy, though both his parents had been rather supportive of his relationship that ended up being a damn joke. Oh, yes, that sourness and bitterness was still there. Damon had almost forgot. Almost. He chuckled a little when Kain asked him whether or not he was gay and he shook his head a little. "Personally, I don't believe in settling to a sexuality. I like who I like, whether that person is male or female is of no consequence. I think some people would consider that thought in itself a sexuality, but I don't like binding myself to a label." He shrugged slightly with a smile as he flicked his hair out of his eyes so he could see better. "I've dated a couple guys, a girl who was MTF, and a biological girl. S'been a long while since any of those, though; I'm too busy being an adult to worry about things like that." [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kain shrugged. ”I dunno. I’m not really that into joining clubs. I’d rather waste my time in other ways.” Even when he was in a normal high school he never really participated in academic clubs. Kain was more of a band kid; he played on his old school’s drum line. He was sort of even popular. Yes, he’d rather waste his time beating the hell out of drums. He liked creating noise, if there was a club for that then he’d definitely join. ”I mean if there’s like a club for drum line or something then maybe. I’m just not into the whole smart kid club stuff.” he added, shrugging once more for emphasis.

Kain smirked, so he was a sub, cool. He didn’t think that schools kept substitutes in stockpile, but then again this wasn’t really a normal school. His eyes shifted back up at his counselor. The subs even looked different at this school. He chewed on his cheek gently. Subs and teachers usually didn’t look like the teachers here, it was weird. Kain drank in the details of his counselor. Subs usually weren’t attractive either. It wasn’t just subs, teachers usually weren’t attractive. That was something that was usually reserved for pornos. He bit his lip again, were attractive teachers only allowed to work at schools with fucked up kids? Perhaps it was more to do with kids paying attention. Kids here seemed to be people that society had given up on. It pained him that he was lumped in here if that was the case. Kain was relatively normal and didn’t seem to have any real problems.

He shook his head gently, bringing himself out of his thoughts. ”Oh! It’s really whatever. I mean there are club kids and there’s me. I’m fine staying out of it.”

[/color] He just wanted to finish his time here and go home. This was just a stepping stone. It was the same as his other high school… sort of. Everyone here was just trying to do the same thing he was. The biggest difference was that everyone sort of wore their problems on their sleeves, or something. Well, maybe not their problem, but everyone was sort of on equal standing ground. They all had some problem and it was obvious because they were there. Everyone had a reason except Kain, who only seemed to be there because his parents couldn’t accept him.

Hearing another person’s coming out story was a little happier than his. He’d heard good stories and bad about it. His was one of those bad ones. How did he come out to his parents? Honestly, he didn’t really. It was an accident, an embarrassing accident, but still. ”I wasn’t going to come out to them. Or at least, not for a while. I always knew they wouldn’t accept it.” he laughed a little. His parents hadn’t been the most accepting people. They were very black and white. ”They caught me and my boy – ex boyfriend… in uh… Well, we got caught in my room.”[/b] His parents were supposed to have left. He was supposed to be home alone with Tucker, but his father had forgotten something and came back. Kain frowned at the memory. Tucker hadn’t spoken to him since then. Kain’s father must have scared the absolute shit out of him.

”That’s cool.” he said nodding. ”I just think girls are disgusting… Their bodies I mean.”[/b] There was just something so scary and disturbing about the female anatomy. They bled from strange places, were bitches for no reason and worst of all they had growths in weird spots. Boobs were not attractive no matter what. Pecks, that was okay. Breasts were not okay. They would never be okay. The miracle of childbirth was not pretty either, that was even more disgusting than bleeding from strange places. He shuddered thinking about it.
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HERE&HERE his outfit.

[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0503 WORDS FOR KAIN huzzah :) DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]Damon nodded in understanding when Kain told him that he was not all that in to the clubs. The counselor had never been one to join clubs or sports as a teen, either. Then again, he fell into the wrong stuff there for a long while. It was difficult to think back on his high school days, mostly because a high percentage of the time, thoughts of his ex-girlfriend came right along with them. As well as thoughts of his ex-best friend, neither of which he'd ever really replaced. He was just kind of floating along, keeping people distanced. Ah well, it was what it was. Life moved on. He really needed to as well. That would just involve giving himself the time to do so. As it was, he was generally too busy with work, and he liked it that way, especially as they grew nearer to the holidays. Sama'el really wished they could just bypass Christmas and everything. He really did not want to deal with that crap again."I wasn’t going to come out to them. Or at least, not for a while. I always knew they wouldn’t accept it." Kain's statement cut through Damon's thoughts and he found himself focusing on the conversation again, crossing his arms on top of the desk. He found it rather sad that the teen's parents were so unsupportive. Sure, his own parents hadn't been the most supportive either; but, that was his issue. It did not mean that he wished it upon anyone. "Well, I'm sorry you have the type of parents that are that way. Makes being yourself rather disheartening after a while," he replied with a nod and a slight, understanding smile. His parents had not been too much better; at least they never sent him to a place like St. Helena's however. That was definitely a plus. He chuckled softly as Kain admitted he had gotten caught with an ex-boyfriend. "Well, Kain, that bit, at least, is pretty much a staple in all teens lives. I was caught with quite a few people in my room. Ma was never too happy, though." Damon shrugged a little, flicking his hair back out of his eyes. He could easily remember the look of absolute horror on his mother's face every time she walked in on him with someone. After a few times, it was basically a rule of him not being able to shut his door if someone was over. However, that never really stopped him, either, especially once he started caring less about anything that wasn't a next high. "Have you managed to make any friends yet? D'you even have a roommate? I know some kids still don't." Damon was curious to know more about Kain, and really, the only way he was going to get to know the kid at all would be by asking questions. Getting some of the boring basics out of the way would make things less awkward when they had to talk again. At least, Damon hoped so. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

”I guess. I mean, I’ve sort of gotten over it. I understand why they dislike it. I don’t agree with them, but they’re my parents and I love them even if they don’t care for me anymore.” It was hard to say, but it was true. He could never completely hate the woman who gave him life or the man who taught him how to walk. Sure he hated the close minded bits and the religious parts, but they were still his parents. It still made him sad though. His parents, if they did ever get over this, would never love him the same as before. It was a fact that he’d accepted unwillingly. ”What I’m saying is since it’s all out now I feel like I can be myself now, I guess.” He smiled sadly. The only support he ever got was from his eleven year old sister. His extended family knew nothing about Kain’s homosexuality. It had been swept under the rug.

”I guess.” he shrugged again. This man hadn’t seen the complete and utter revulsion on his father’s face as he drank in the scene of two shirtless men kissing. He hadn’t seen the anger in his father’s eyes as he pulled them apart and called them disgusting. He hadn’t heard his father’s screaming and yelling. He hadn’t been there when Kain was forced into a confession room to confess to some crusty old man about being gay. It was awful. It wasn’t like the television scenarios, he could have actually heard the pieces of his life falling away and smashing. He’d finally begun to accept and sort of fill the pieces back in. Kain had realized that it wasn’t really the end of his world, just the end of a part of it. It was a part he wasn’t sure that he really needed.

Kain smiled. ” Yeah, sort of. Some of the kids in the music department are pretty cool.” It was something less depressing right? Making friends. Kain didn’t particularly like bitching and moaning about his life. He had a good life. ”I should probably try harder to make friends though.”

[/b] Kain smiled sheepishly. In the high school that he spent most of his high school career at, he didn’t have to try really hard, and all of the band kids were really close. It was easy. ”I don’t have a roommate yet, maybe soon though.” A roommate could be helpful in making friends.

A genuine smile spread over his face, maybe everything was going to work out in his favor now. ”So what do you substitute for? Or do you sub in all sorts of classes?” he asked, turning the questions away from himself. He’d never really had a one on one with a teacher he’d never had. This was interesting. To be honest he'd never actually spoken to a teacher about personal matters, it was usually just school related. It was rare for Kain to have any sort of relationship past pupil and teacher. "Why subbing? Why not straight up teaching?"[/b] he asked, cocking his head to the side. He didn't even care that he was over loading the man with questions. It was nice to get the spotlight off of himself.



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HERE&HERE his outfit.

[Sama'el Damon Haile]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;]0634 WORDS FOR KAIN huzzah :) DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]"What I’m saying is since it’s all out now I feel like I can be myself now, I guess." Sama'el nodded slightly at the teen's statement, flicking his hair back out of his eyes. "Good," he said warmly. "S'a very good thing, doll. The best thing is to just be who you are. Fuck everyone else if they've a problem with it." And there he went again with his "foul" language. He really need a filter for that stuff. Oh, well. He would just deal with it. Besides, the entire situation was a lot less formal than an actual therapy session. He was glad to know that Kain felt like he could be himself more. That was always a good thing in Damon's view. There was nothing more disheartening than someone who felt like they had to pretend to be anything other than who they were just for attention or affection. It broke his heart a bit, if he was completely honest. Damon nodded a little at Kain's answer about making friends and his lack of roommate. He had no doubts that the kid could easily make friends with people if he tried. That was always the difficult part, though. Especially when you started a new school. It was bringing yourself to try that ended up being the largest obstacle. At least, that was what he had learned over the years. "I'm sure you'll find no problems making friends. You seem like a great person. Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you." Especially in St. Helena's, Damon mused. Really, all most of the students really needed was just a good friend, someone that would stand by them and support them. They just needed someone to care, and the fact that most of them were broken to the point that they no longer trusted people was the worst part. It made it nearly impossible to get them to believe that someone was actually there for them. It was definitely one of the more discouraging parts of his job. He hated seeing how broken some of the students were. "So what do you substitute for? Or do you sub in all sorts of classes?" Damon did not mind Kain switching things around so that they were talking more about him than the teen, especially if it made the new student feel any more comfortable there. After all, it was not a therapy session, and he did not want Kain to feel that it was. "I sub for Music I/II and the choir courses. I don't think I could handle something like history, especially not Gibbs' courses. I'd do something wrong." The blond absently ruffled his hair and laughed softly with a nod, absently wetting his lips as he thought over the next question he asked. Why had he chosen to only be a substitute teacher? "Well, I wanted to spend more of my time counseling than anything. I think I could help people more that way. I'll sub for the classes when the teachers have counseling sessions that conflict with class, if I'm free, or if they're sick or something. It gives them a little less to stress over. So, I figured, why not? I was originally just signing up to be a counselor." Damon once again messed with his hair as he slouched down in his seat, shrugging a little with a slight smile. "S'there anything else you'd like to know? We've still got a bit of time left; but, you can just head out if you want. 'M sure you'd rather spend your time with people your own age than a stupid counselor, yeah?" Damon would not blame the kid in the slightest. Had the roles been reversed, he would most likely have wanted out of there as soon as possible. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0

[kain]

i'm wasted, wasting time
( - i'm moving on but you're left behind - )
a pretty face but the chase ain't worth the prize
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Music had always been the class he was best at. The fact that Damon subbed for it gave him more cool points than before. It also made the older man seem slightly more attractive. He shook his head a little, Damon was out of his league in so many ways. Stupid inappropriate teacher-student thoughts. He bit his lip a little and zoned back into the conversation. History? How much of the conversation had he missed. Who was Gibbs? The conversation had left him in the dust. It was a sign that Kain needed to stop zoning out like an idiot. It was something that usually got him into trouble during classes like math. He needed to focus in math, mainly because it wasn't always super easy. In his opinion one could almost count math as a foreign language. There was some math that he found easy, but not a whole lot of it.

"No, I think I'll be alright, thanks." he smiled and stood up. There was nothing more for him to talk about. "It's not that I'd rather spend time with people my own age though, I promise I don't think you're boring or stupid. I just want to wander around more." he clarified quickly. He'd spent a lot of time his first week or so getting unlost. He'd been late to a lot of his classes though, which wasn't cool. Kain smiled at his counselor, "So I'll see you this time next week" he said. He smiled once more at the teacher/counselor and stood up. Kain moved to the door quickly, glancing quickly back at his counselor. Counseling might be fun in the end. He chewed on his lip gently and headed towards the labyrinth that was St. Helenas.

He doubted this wandering thing would help him at all. He'd probably end up more lost than anything.


FINISHED.

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HERE&HERE his outfit.