NIELSEN, søren alexander

[/i][/color][/size][/font]
r e m i n d s m e o f y o u. s o m a n y t h i n g s i s h o u l d n 't h a v e m i s s e d. t h e m o r e t h a t i p u s h,
and the more you resist. it's easy to say it's for the best when you want more while you leave me with less.[/color][/font]

Full Name:

[/color] Søren Alexander Nielsen
Nicknames: None yet!
Age: 17
Birthdate: September 1st
Sexuality: Gay
Gender: Male
Problem: Suicidal
Grade: Junior
Clique(s): Others
Classes:

[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


i know you're fine, but what do i do ?[/i][/color][/size][/font]
i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e, a n d t r y i n g, w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g
like a babe beside him. i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]

Height:

[/color] 6'0”
Weight: 155
Hair Color: Dyed Black (Naturally Blondish)
Eye Color: Blue
Notable Features: Arms covered in scars. Various piercings.
Play-By: Jakub Gierszał
General Description: Søren is on the tall side, but not too tall. He has been going through this dark 'phase' for the last three or four odd years. He was suicidal before the dark started, however, so you can't blame the music he listens to, or the depressing people he hangs around. It's not just dark clothes really, he wears 'regular' clothes most of the time. It's really more of a personality thing that seems to drip depression out onto everything he touches. He does smile on occasion. Really, the whole 'dark phase' thing is mostly imagined by his parents who needed something to blame his unhappiness on, since they couldn't bear to blame it on themselves. Søren has scars all over his body from self injury. At one time or another he has carved words into his skin, and you can still read some of the letters. He plans on covering up some of the words (like 'faggot').[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


and i know you see me, and you're making it ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
l o o k s o e a s y. w h a t c o m e s a n d g o e s, i 'd g o w i t h o u t. i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e b u t w h a t a b o u t
fallout , fallout , fallout, through the fallout. fallout, fallout, through the fallout. well now there's him,[/color][/font]

Likes:

[/color]
-Acting. He's quite good at it.
-Doing risky things to feel alive.
-Sex. Who doesn't? He's not a man-whore or anything. He just likes sex.
-Writing in his journal.
-Old films and film noir.
-Reading.
-Going to art galleries.
-Writing stories. He's also quite good at this.
-Reading books.
-Black and white photography.
-Old Polaroids.
-Riding his bicycle.
-Music from the 1920s to 1990s.

Dislikes:
-Being alive sometimes.
-Feeling dead all the time.
-Feeling isolated culturally because he wasn't born in America.
-Feeling like he has failed in so many ways.
-Himself. Dislike really isn't a strong enough word. He hates himself.
-Taking psychiatric medications.
-People who are content to live their lives like everyone else. Basically, he has a problem with cliques because he has been bullied and excluded in the past. And happy people depress him because he can't share in their joy, and he thinks that their happiness is all deluded, and if they saw life as it is, then they wouldn't be smiling.
-Homophobia. He's encountered a lot of it.
-Constantly moving around, and always feeling like a foreigner.

Strengths:
-He's a talented actor and writer.
-He is an avid reader.
-He is bilingual (English and Swedish).

Weaknesses:
-Low self-esteem.
-Pessimism.
-He has trouble expressing his emotions out loud. Fortunately, he can get it out onto paper most of the time.

Fears:
-Being alone forever.
-Forgetting about his little sister, Emmy. Waking up one day and not being able to remember the way her eyes lit up when he read her stories. Forgetting the way her voice sounded when she knew she was being silly and was trying not to laugh.

Disorders: Suicidal. Self-injury.
General Description: He views the world as a hateful place. He assumes that most people hate him before they even know him, and for this reason he usually keeps to himself. He used to be a happier kid. He used to write plays and get his little friends to act in them. He used to be able to memorize monologues from films and then parrot them back like a pro when he was a small child. He used to be a big brother. After his little sister died, he just lost it. He punched holes in the wall, he refused to eat. He tore up all of the pages from the books in his room. And, then he attempted suicide. His view of life is bleak, to say the least. He lost his faith in god at thirteen years old, and has never gained it back. He wants to die most of the time. Sometimes something will remind him of Emmy, and even all of these years later it kills him. Sometimes he has fond memories of her. He would give anything to relive to joy he had with that child, just for one moment.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


and now there's me. the secrets you give ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
a n d t h e s e c r e t s y o u k e e p. a n d n e v e r t h e l e s s, i t 's n e v e r y o u l e t. t h e m o r e t h a t i g i v e
and the less that i get. don't tell me to fight, to fight for you. after this long, i shouldn't have to[/color][/font]

Mother:

[/color] Julia, interpreter/linguist
Father: Niklas, diplomat
Siblings: Emmy (deceased)

History:

Søren was born in Stockholm, Sweden. His father, who was actually Danish by birth, worked as a diplomat and eventually his work lead them to Berlin, Germany, where Søren attended pre-school at an international school and learned English. Then, they moved back to Stockholm when his little sister, Emmy, was born. Not long after that, they were living in London, England and then, Stockholm again, and they just kind of moved all around with Niklas's job, until finally, they settled in Los Angeles, where they thought they'd stay. By that time, Søren was twelve and his sister was six. It looked like things were going to work out for once. Søren was attending Le Lycée Français de Los Angeles, since his mother, a linguist and interpreter, wanted him to be exposed to as much language as possible. Søren made some friends. He'd always been isolated before Le Lycée, because his mother was a very religious woman (something not as common in Sweden as America) and was very strict. In Europe, his closest friends had been his journals, his books, and his little sister. In America, however, Julia relaxed and Søren was allowed to be a child.

But, then, Emmy became very ill in a very short time. It turned out that she had leukaemia. She was given all sorts of treatment--- chemotherapy, stem cell transplants, faith healing. But, in the end they couldn't save her. Søren had been very close to Emmy, and her death hit him hard. He'd already been dealing with internal turmoil, because he had come to realize that he was 100% gay, and this was not something that his mother would take lightly. And, then Emmy died and he completely lost his faith in god. He stopped talking to his friends at school. He withdrew into himself and started writing in his journals again, obsessively. He started planning his own death, cursing god, and talking about how he hoped the world would end. He also mentioned his sexual thoughts about a male friend of his once or twice. His mother found his journals, read them, and went berserk. Søren came to hate his family and wound up self-injuring. They took him in to get psychiatric help, but he wouldn't respond to any of the therapists. In the end, Julia and Niklas gave up on him and just hoped for the best. They'd been told that most self-injurers weren't suicidal.

Søren proved the exception to the rule. While they were visiting a family friend in Texas, he wandered off on his own. He was sixteen at the time, and completely friendless. The family friend liked to hunt and kept a lot of guns. Søren went out to their shed and loaded one of the guns that they'd used just a day before to go hunting and target shooting. Søren had participated in the sport, and for a moment, Niklas and Julia had believed that he'd found a 'normal' thing that he could enjoy. He sure seemed uncharacteristically happy when he was doing it. He was cheerful, talkative, completely unlike himself. He kept it up until the moment he left for the shed that next day. He aimed one of the guns at his head, but then thought better of it. He wanted his mother to see his face when he was in the casket. He knew it would haunt her more if she had to see a face that she recognized. So, he aimed the gun at his heart, and pulled the trigger. If he'd been thinking clearly he might have anticipated the recoil, or maybe he flinched. Either way, he missed his heart and didn't die. Instead, he was sent to St. Helena's when school started again.
.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


i know you're fine, but what do i do? i know ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e a n d t r y i n g w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g l i k e a
babe beside him.i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]

Alias:

[/color] Simon
Age: 18
Time Zone: Pacific
Other Characters: Simon, Sophie, Harmony, Milo, Élodie, John
Code Words: JACKED BY MOUSE. [/justify][/blockquote][/size]


this template was made by alice. it uses the lyrics
for "fallout" by marianas trench. do not steal,
alter, edit, or use without her permission or she will
send the evil monkey in her closet after you. you have
been warned.[/i][/center]