learning to fall [adrian]

[Jeremy Stephen Evans]

The first couple days with the power going in and out at school was a rather interesting experience, to say the least. Since it was freezing, and Jeremy didn't do so well in the cold, Jeremy was walking around in a sweatshirt and sweatpants almost everywhere he went, accentuated by a pair of dark, unobtrusive slippers to keep his feet warm. The dark in his dorm room and in other areas of the school hadn't yet gotten to him so significantly. He either spent most of the time sleeping, or reading by a battery-powered light that he kept on a lot during the outages just to make sure he didn't trip over some random shoe he had left out. If he was going to trip, fall, break his arm, and possibly get a concussion -- at least in his depressed state -- that was something he would make sure to do on purpose, not by accident.

On Saturday, Adrien had invited Jeremy over to his dorm to play some video games and just hang out. It was a welcomed disruption in this new routine that he had established thanks to the ice storm. But still, there was always a sense of trepidation and anxiety hiding within the tips of his fingers. He didn't have any friends at his old school. St. Helena's was the first time he had ever had to engage in the concept of "socializing." Added to the fact that Adrien was pretty much drop-dead gorgeous and a pleasurable sight to see in the weight room, Jeremy was all a flutter with butterflies in his stomach. It was really just a chance for some friends -- guy friends -- to hang out and do guy things; it wasn't as though he got asked out on a date.

But still, Jeremy was as giddy as a schoolgirl, and he was so nervous that he didn't want to play. He told Adrien that he'd rather just watch him play. He didn't want to risk anything that would make a bad impression. If it turned out that he absolutely sucked at Call of Duty, he didn't want that thing to be what Adrien knew him by. So he leaned against the foot of the bed, trying to relax, as he watched the television in front of him. Even though the power outages were frequent, they were pretty much banking on a string of power long enough to get through a level or two. And everything was actually going just fine. The lights were on, the video game worked, and Jeremy's shivering self was curled up at the foot of the bed, his bum on the floor.

But then, the lights went out, and that's when everything changed. Jeremy realized that he didn't have his protective nightlight anymore. He wasn't in an open-air place like the library, and he wasn't huddling under the covers in his own dorm room. No. It became very clear to him that he was in a stranger's room, and the scary part about it was that the darkness, the unsuspected power surge -- it brought his memory back to the times when his father would forget to pay the bill, and they would go without electricity for a month. They would eat dinner and read by candlelight -- that is, if they had anything to eat. And then... and then... oh god, and then...

"Oh my God," Jeremy whispered lightly, his eyes welling with tears in the darkness. His arms slowly wrapped themselves around his body, which was now rocking slightly back and forth. As he shook his head, he was taken back to those nights in bed when father would rub oil all over his skin, "take care of his son," and finally, penetrate him to show him who was the boss, the king of the castle. As he rocked himself, trying to make the pain of the memories go away, he squeezed his eyes shut and mouthed under his breath, "No... not again."

Date: November 7, 2020
Time: 8:30pm

[Adrian James Ellery]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style, height: 30px; background-color: #0066CC; width: 425px; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: #F2F2F2; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center, bTable]yeah, you got me begging, begging baby please don't go

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #F2F2F2; width: 427px; margin-top: -20px, bTable] IF I WAKE UP TOMORROW, WILL YOU STILL BE HERE? there was something so sweet and adorable about jeremy. normally he wouldn't let his thoughts wander like this, but he couldn't really help himself. while his mind was drifting from the cold to his game from time to time, he was pretty well aware of the other male in the room. something about the whole situation felt both calm but nerve wracking at the same time. adrian wasn't entirely sure what it was that made him ignore the chill of the room and put his mind on something - someone - entirely different, but he didn't bother to look too far in to it. adrian typically didn't look too far in to anything. well, that wasn't entirely true. adrian was laid back and relaxed in nearly every situation except for when it came to people he cared about. it amused him that jeremy lingered near him, just close enough to make adrian smile, but just far enough away to make him feel as if he was being observed. he could tell that the other male was put off by something, but he didn't let it throw him off in the least bit. he continued to chatter away in a friendly manner as he lazily went through familiar movements on his controller, only half paying attention to the video game in front of him. once in a while he would grow silent and actually pretend to be interested in the video game, but he didn't let himself remain silent for long before he was right back to laughing at himself or asking jeremy simple questions about his day or something equally light and friendly. after all, adrian was generally a friendly guy when it came right down to it. something about the atmosphere changed as the room grew darker and the game flickered. there was something about this weather that was just tiring. at first it had been kind of fun in his eyes. it gave him a chance to put battery operated candles around his room and enjoy the silence. he would have liked to be able to use real candles, but that just wasn't an option for him, given his situation. after a few hours of sitting around in darkness though, it just got boring. there wasn't much to do with the weather being so ridiculous and inside, it wasn't much better. it was too cold in his room for him to be comfortable and really, what was there to do in the dark? "well i guess that's the end of that for a while.." he said softly, laughing to himself as he put the controller down in front of him and leaned forward enough to turn off the television - just in case- before turning to face jeremy with a slightly lopsided smile. it took adrian a moment or two to realize the difference in the room, but once he caught on, he couldn't help but frown. "hey..." he stared softly, feeling an awkward sense of worry wash over him as he shifted himself closer to the other male. did he have issues with the dark? adrian hadn't thought about the idea of darkness being an issue, but it made sense in this school. everything made sense in this school. everyone at st. helenas had their demons and adrian wasn't about to let that fog his idea of anyone there. "you okay?" he asked just as soft as before, though this time he was closer. adrian didn't stop himself from leaning in toward jeremy enough to tug him against his chest, not bothering to truly care if this was crossing any lines. "relax, jeremy.. you're fine. it's just a little dark..." there was something almost convincing in his tone. adrian had always been a cuddler. there was something about him that loved to comfort and invade space, though he wasn't entirely sure if he was any good at it. his fingers brushed over the other male's forehead gently, though his eyes wandered around the room, looking for something he could use for a light source. the smile that he forced over his lips into a light smile as he wrapped his arms around jeremy's shoulders, rubbing his arms lightly. "any better?" he asked, looking at the male with faint worry. it didn't seem to dawn on him that most normal guys wouldn't latch on to other guys this way. it didn't even phase him. WORDS: 751, TAGS: JEREMY OUTFIT: HERE TEMPLATE BY CREEPY DOLL @ CAUTION

[Jeremy Stephen Evans]

The doctors all called it the Stockholm Syndrome, an unhealthy sympathy for the captor. But Jeremy just thought he was being nice, trying to devote every measure of himself to being a good, loyal son. He was reluctant to leave his old life because he didn't know where he would be going. He had no other family besides his father, and he didn't want to give up his last living, present relation even if there was no real love there. But St. Helena's was quite a bit different, and not at all what he had originally imagined. The state of Oklahoma had found him a very good school where more than one member of the faculty actually cared about him and wanted him to get better. And for once in his life, Jeremy actually had friends -- friends that were his own age, and not ones that he just enjoyed simple, passing conversations with. He might still have felt sorry for his dad, sorry that he was the reason a man that he thought was innocent was put into prison.

But no matter what degree of sympathy Jeremy exhibited towards his now estranged father, he was starting to realize that he did not want to go back to that old life, even if it meant a certain safety from outside intrusion. Living here meant that he was forced to give up his secrets, but it was a price that he was willing to pay -- for better health, for better friends, for friends that truly did care about him, a lot more than his sick father ever did. He knew that he was in a safe place, much safer than the little house on the outskirts of Shawnee, and that was confirmed by the warmest, friendliest touch he had ever felt in his life.

At first, Jeremy was not so keen on being in extremely close physical proximity with another male -- and, oh, now they were touching! Seeing his shaken state, Adrian had pulled him close, and Jeremy found himself with his head lying on Adrian's chest. This was definitely a violation of personal space; and even more so, after having been touched and so many other disgusting verbs during the time with his father, Jeremy did not want to be touched -- by anything or anyone. Combined with the fact that Adrian was a very masculine jock who could get any girl he wanted and would probably have been a little upset if rumors went around about him touching another boy, a surprised gasp from a still-shaking Jeremy was to be expected. He recoiled somewhat, and began to pull away at first.

But this touch, and that voice -- it was different from what he had heard before. Adrian did not speak about how much pleasure he was receiving, how adequately he was dominating this submissive young man. His touch, his voice: together, they were both so comforting. Jeremy began to take deep breaths as he started to calm down, realizing that his private parts were not being violated, and Adrian's hands were not in naughty places. In fact, Adrian had ever so gently brushed a hand across Jeremy's forehead. Suddenly, Jeremy was not so worried about being touched in the wrong places, and he was a lot less concerned about getting beaten up or socially destroyed by a jock. As Jeremy felt the arms around his back, pulling him in, protecting him from his demons, he realized that Adrian was no ordinary jock -- probably the first of his kind -- and Jeremy really liked that. With the anxiety slowly melting away, Jeremy thought, Is this what friends are supposed to do? Is this what...having a friend is like... For once, he felt safe -- and maybe, just maybe, like he was home.

Swallowing hard and pushing back the tears, Jeremy whispered, "Y-Yeah," and it came out a lot choppier and weaker than he had intended. He cleared his throat briefly and sighed before muttering, "Thank you..." But Jeremy had completely forgotten that Adrian was wearing a tanktop in the midst of a major cold front, and it wasn't until now that Jeremy had noticed that Adrian's chest and shoulder, where he was laying his head, was a little cold. In the dark, he smiled and chuckled softly, saying, "You're so cold." Responding as if it were a natural reflex, Jeremy pulled an arm away from his own chest and wrapped it around Adrian's waist. And there was this feeling at the back of Jeremy's mind that validated the situation, that approved the physical contact: he's holding me, he thought, not touching me. He can hold me. He can. A soft smile bloomed on his face.

Feeling how wet his face was from the tears, Jeremy tried to pull his head away just for a moment to wipe off all the moisture. Unfortunately, being completely uncoordinated in the dark, he managed to do something a little embarrassing in the process. Somehow, he managed to nuzzle his nose against Adrian's chin and then, bringing his head up further, he brushed his lips across what he thought might have been Adrian's bottom lip. What a way to ruin the tenderness of the moment! Practically kissing a jock, great -- that was a great way to get yourself beaten up. This probably would have been the first time, in the history of nerddom, that a nerd had laid a big ol' wet one on a jock.

With a shocking intake of air, Jeremy pulled his body back a little and apologized. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean t-- it was an accident, I swear, I--" He didn't really know what to say. Was their relationship over now? It would have been just like Jeremy to take it too far, to lose the one good thing he had in just a few seconds. In the darkness, nobody could see the worry in his wide eyes.

[Adrian James Ellery]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style, height: 30px; background-color: #0066CC; width: 425px; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: #F2F2F2; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center, bTable]yeah, you got me begging, begging baby please don't go

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #F2F2F2; width: 427px; margin-top: -20px, bTable] IF I WAKE UP TOMORROW, WILL YOU STILL BE HERE? at first, adrian almost expected for jeremy to pull away and shoot him daggers with his eyes. he could tell that there was some kind of internal battle waging inside of the other male, but he wasn't entirely sure what he could do to make any of it better. he didn't stop the other from pulling away. he didn't stop him from fighting being touched. he understood that he was probably coming on a little too strong and though jeremy definitely didn't seem like the type to puff out his chest and try and fight him for getting too close, adrian was prepared for anything at this point. the worst that happened was that he got a busted lip or a black eye, but he knew that he would never hit the other male back. he was willing to take a step back and give the male some space if he really needed it, but he would rather not. adrian had never been the best at knowing when to step away from a situation, but he never wanted anyone to feel uncomfortable. especially when they were hurting. relief flooded through him as jeremy stopped squirming and instead relaxed against him. he couldn't help but smile slightly, feeling a little better that he had been able to stop his friend from having a melt down. "i'm glad. you had me worried." he let out a soft laugh that sounded more relieved than amused. the smile that crossed his lips was a bit more broad as he heard jeremy thank him, though he knew that the words hardly phased him. "you're welcome. i didn't mean to be... weird or anything but... i just know that most people feel a little better if they know they aren't alone when they're freaked out." he said, remembering all the times he'd been woken up by his little sister because she had a nightmare. there was nothing more to it than the fact that she didn't want to sleep alone because she had been afraid and she knew that he was more than willing to stay with her until she felt comfortable again. while this situation was a little bit different in adrian's eyes because jeremy was hardly his little sister, he still felt the need to comfort the other male. adrian didn't seem to process the fact that he was cold, though as the fact was pointed out, he couldn't help but feel a shiver race up his spine. "i'll... i'm okay. you're warm." he wasn't entirely sure what that fact had to do with anything, but he didn't realize how ridiculous it sounded until it was already out in the air. "I mean... I guess you just kind of take the edge off. I'm fine when I'm not thinking about it." sure, he could get up and get a sweatshirt, but then that would mean leaving jeremy alone again and honestly, he wasn't sure how well that would blow over. he would suck it up and deal with the cold until he was entirely sure that his friend would be okay. he shifted slightly, tugging the other a little big closer to him more to steal his warmth than anything else. adrian was a little taken aback by the feeling of what he thought was jeremy's nose running over his chin, though he didn't make any move to pull away or say anything. it wasn't until he felt the others lip brush against his own that he gasped softly, confusion settling in. was that jeremy's way of subtly making a move? he wasn't entirely sure of what to do in a situation like this, though as he realized the way his friend was reacting to the action, adrian couldn't help but chuckle softly. it was a little amusing to him that the other male was so jittery and nervous about something that was so obviously an accident. unfortunately, adrian had almost been hoping that it wasn't an accident. "you're fine. relax! it's not that big of a deal." he said softly, feeling the corner of his mouth twitch slightly in amusement. "don't be sorry." he suggested, looking down at the male though he could hardly make out the outline of his jaw and shoulders in the darkness. "i was kind of hoping that you were trying to kiss me... but it's whatever." he mused, leaning forward just enough to press their foreheads together lightly. he had half a mind to let go of his control and just kiss the male, but he really didn't want to do anything that would cause problems in the future. after all, what if he was the only one that felt like this was a somewhat romantic moment? "is it weird if i kind of want to kiss you?" WORDS: 800, TAGS: JEREMY OUTFIT: HERE TEMPLATE BY CREEPY DOLL @ CAUTION