ghosts from the past [journey]

[Caleb Gabriel Black]

IF YOU CANT HANG

He hadn’t been here all that long. And already he didn’t really like it here, though he figured he wouldn’t. Being contained was not exactly what he liked to be, as he seriously hated confinement, being told what to do. But there was no other choice. His aunt woulnd’t just let up.appraently he had to get better.But he hated it here. and he made that clear. he was constantly being wtached by the staff , something he hated.

So he pretty much spent most of his days tense and annoyed, without a thing to really combat it. The doctors here spoke a load of ‘bullshit’, as he put it. In fact it was them that really made him hate it here. He didn’t believe he had any problems. He was ‘fine, though no one else seemed to think so, especially those damn dcotors. according to caleb, there was othing wrong with him. he didn’t have depression, or so he kept telling everyone. though that was a lie, with the recent suicide attempts. but he had calmed himself down...and was trying not ot think of those thoughts. he just hated it here and wanted ou, and fast. Of course, he didn’t want to be here, did anyone? He thought about running away, but hadn’t done so yet; as the staff just wouldn’t leave him out of their sight for long enough.

And the last time he challenged a doctor, he was almost sedated, yet again. It was rather difficult to keep his anger under control, as sometimes it just flare up without much warning. Though today he was surprisingly calm, a nod trying to get used to this place. He didn’t do much the entire day except go to class, then come back to his dorm only to stare up at the ceiling. He was soon getting used to the idea he would end up dying of boredom or something, as he was struggling to socialise with anyone here. Partly because he didn’t want to, nor did he feel comfortable, terrified he would end up hurting them or something, he never knew.

Today though, he was feeling brave enough to wander around instead of going to class. He wandered around a bit before heading into the cafeteria at lunch time, not really hungry but he knew should probably eat, or get yelled at again. He had to be a good ‘student’, but with caleb, you could never really be sure what mood he was in.

He wandered inside, noting that it was quiet right about now. Which was a good thing. Picking up a tray, he got himself a sandwich and a bottle of water, noting the the staff were watching. But he didn’t care; he never had a big appetite anyway. He turned to walk over to an empty table, almost bumping into someone as he did so, catching his tray in his hand before it landed on the ground. ”hey watch where you’re...” he started before his eyes landed on the figure stood before him. He gulped, his hand automatically going to his stomach, then dropping to his side. what was she doing here? he was feeling anxious now, as he tried to smile, albeit nervously. shit, this was awkward.


he frze once he saw her, his eyes widening. ”journey? that you?” he asked, biting his lip

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[Journey Anne Wiggins]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: #477963; width:450px; height:450px; border-radius:225px; padding:0px; background: url(http://i829.photobucket.com/albums/zz211/bgayle2011/Elsie%20Enchanted/p.jpg)] [style=background: transparent; width:240px; padding:5px; text-align: center; font-size: 9px;]WORDS 682 TAGGED caleb journey didn't too much like this place. she had only been there a few days and she already knew that it wasn't the place that she wanted to be. though she wanted out, she had never been much of a rebel, so running away wasn't the idea. could she pretend she was better? no, they knew better than to believe someone that had only been at st. helena's for a couple of days. she didn't know how she was going to get out, but she planned on figuring something out soon. she was a smart girl, why couldn't she think of some master plan. she didn't mind the other teenagers though, in fact, she had already made a few friends and that was something that she loved. some were a little crazy, but she saw past that and called them a friend all the same. the story of how she ended up here wasn't something she really liked to talk about it, she would lie and say that her parents thought she was crazy because she dressed differently from them, they thought she was a "goth" kid even though she hated labels. most people believed her, but there were always the few that looked at her with wonder or with a face that said they knew she was lying. she missed her aunt though. she seemed to be the only person that understood how she was feeling. her aunt had miscarried two children, so she knew the pain of losing a child. of course, journey hated talking about losing the baby. it was what drove her to do what she did. it was what drove her to want to end her life, in hopes that she could just be with her child. at her aunts, she had most of the clothes that she and caleb had bought the baby, there were nights where she slept with the blanket, or found herself unfolding and refolding clothes. the diapers and wipes and things she all donated to the local crisis center, she couldn't be selfish and keep those things when there were people that actually needed them. the one thing that she always had with her was the pacifier. she had attached it to a chain that she wore around her neck. that pacifier was how she had told caleb that she was pregnant. and when it didn't make her think of the baby, it made her think of caleb. journey grabbed her tray which contained a simple salad, apple and bottle of water, and headed to the table where her few friends sat. she wasn't even halfway paying attention to her surroundings when she had bumped into someone knocking both trays onto the cold cafeteria floor. she waited to get yelled at by someone for making them lose their lunch but instead she heard "hey watch where you’re..." that voice. it couldn't be him. she couldn't make herself look up to see, she knew she was going to breakdown when she saw his face and she didn't want everyone in the cafeteria to see that.her cheeks were already bright red from causing a scene and now she felt as if her heart were racing out of her chest. she hoped that he would just walk away, but that wasn't the case. "journey? that you?" he asked her. she looked up and immediately tears rushed forward and threatened to spill at any second. she was frozen, she didn't know what to do, say, feel anything. all she could do was grab the pacifier and hold it tight. "c-caleb?" she stuttered out. she was so glad that she had worn a jacket today, she didn't want her scars to be the first thing he saw. she didn't want him to be disgusted with her just like her parents were. they blamed her for everything and she was terrefied that he would do the same. she looked into his eyes and it was over, a single tear fell and all she wanted to do was run, but she was stuck, her feet wouldn't move. NOTES sorry it too so long outfit here

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[Caleb Gabriel Black]

IF YOU CANT HANG

caleb hated being in such a place. it confused him a whole lot and put him off. so far, he had kept to himself, naturally. he never did make friends easily. he wasn’t an awfully sociable person. he tended to just stick to a few, or rather, no friends. especially ere. he never felt more out of place than ever. but he had no place to go. well, he thought of ways to deal with that but he failed, twice. he was pretty much a failure, not being able to do anything. well, according to him anyway. he sighed, he wasn’t in the mood to eat. he didn’t even want to come to the cafeteria, but he felt as if he had to, before he got into trouble for not eating, again.


he wasn’t really caring about the staff..or if he got into trouble for anything. but they weren’t all that great, given he wasn’t allowed razors or anything sharp. even lighters. stupid. he had many scars on his forearms that he kept hidden on a daily basis, usually with long sleeved shirts, like he was wearing toda. he didn’t think all that high of himself. and seeing his scars reminded him of the fact that he thought of himself as worthless, weak, pathetic. he chewed his lip as he stood there, almost frozen to the spot.


he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing at first, or rather, who he was seeing. it was a blast from the past alright. he was confused, and didn’t know what to do at this point. he wasn’t even sure if words had actually escaped his mouth as his mind had almost turned to mush. he was just staring at the girl, as her cheeks flushed red and her gripping onto something round her neck. he bit his lip as he heard her call him by his name. this was really her.


he wanted to run...but honestly, he had nowhere else to really go. all he could do was stand there, and think about how much he actually missed the girl in front of him. he nodded, placing his tray on a nearby table.

”hi...it’s been awhile, huh?” he s[oek quietly, before looking back to the table. ”um, do you want to sit..with me?” he asked, though he was scared that he had scared her off.

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