Post by Simon Patrick Gallagher on Sept 21, 2012 23:38:45 GMT -6
SI MON PATRICK G ALLAGHER !
an empty room, i'm empty too and everything ,
[/i][/color][/size][/font]an empty room, i'm empty too and everything ,
r e m i n d s m e o f y o u. s o m a n y t h i n g s i s h o u l d n 't h a v e m i s s e d. t h e m o r e t h a t i p u s h,
and the more you resist. it's easy to say it's for the best when you want more while you leave me with less.[/color][/font]
[/color] Simon Patrick GallagherFull Name:
Nicknames: None.
Age: 16
Birthdate: December 7th
Sexuality: Pansexual
Gender: Male
Problem: Bipolar 1 (Rapid Cycling)
Grade: Junior
Clique(s): Nerds, Music Geeks
Classes:
i know you're fine, but what do i do ?[/i][/color][/size][/font]
i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e, a n d t r y i n g, w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g
like a babe beside him. i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]
[/color] 6' 0”Height:
Weight: 158lbs
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Blue
Notable Features: No tattoos, no piercings. Several fine scars on his the insides of his wrists from various aborted suicide attempts. One ugly puckered scar from a serious suicide attempt.
Play-By: Jake Abel
General Description: He's tall and lanky without much muscle, but not lacking in it either. His expression is often serious and he has been told that he needs to smile more often. When he does smile no one seems any better off. When he is manic he is still unsmiling, though internally he is full of excitement and he feels invincible. When he is manic he seems to physically vibrate with energy, and he can work out until he is near collapse, or alternatively he can do terrible impulsive things to his body. He hasn't gotten a tattoo yet, due to his father's efforts.He dresses in a laid back way. He doesn't follow fashion too closely, but he favours snug fitting jeans because anything baggy looks awful on his thin frame. He once pierced his left ear by himself, but it got infected and so he hasn't tried anything like that since. He likes shirts with collars and occasionally wears v-necks. His eyes are often framed by dark circles because he has trouble sleeping when he is manic and can't seem to do anything except sleep when he is depressed.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]
and i know you see me, and you're making it ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
l o o k s o e a s y. w h a t c o m e s a n d g o e s, i 'd g o w i t h o u t. i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e b u t w h a t a b o u t
fallout , fallout , fallout, through the fallout. fallout, fallout, through the fallout. well now there's him,[/color][/font]
[/color]Likes:
-The Cello. The sound, the feeling of the strings vibrating beneath his fingers--- everything about the cello soothes him. He find spiritual, mental, emotional, whatever-al release from playing the cello. He's also tried his hand at piano, but didn't feel the same connection to the instrument. He also plays a bit of guitar, but only enough to accompany himself when he is singing. He does like old folk songs, since they are usually simple to play and he doesn't need to think about the accompaniment so much.
-Singing. He used to sing himself to sleep when he was lonely as a small child, and his love of singing has never truly gone. He has a pretty good singing voice. It's not heartbreaking, gorgeous, phenomenal or whatever; it's just sincere and emotional. His voice is sort of soft and not rich like the voices he admires. It's sort of breathy and “pretty”, which irritates him to no end. He can't listen to recordings of his own singing because of this. But, some people like it.
-Classical Music and Jazz. He finds it mentally stimulating and emotionally cathartic to listen to good music. Not to say that he doesn't think other non-classical or jazz music isn't 'good' but he prefers
-Books, especially novels. He loves the escapist value of a good fiction. He tries to stray away from the more depressing and autobiographical stories since they can trigger his depression. He likes fantasy and science fiction, but plain old fiction suits him fine.
-Improv Comedy. Before he came to St. Helena's he was in the Improv Club at his school, and he was quite good at it. He loves how improv makes you think on your feet and can often leave you rolling on the floor.
Dislikes:
-His Stepmother. To put it mildly, she is a manipulative, sadistic, heartless, and unrepentant b-i-t-c-h. She has a creative and cruel eye for punishment. She used to beat him with a horse whip for the slightest infractions and often left him bruised and bloodied, only to blame his injuries on 'fights' Simon supposedly got in with his step-siblings, whenever a worried adult caught a glimpse of the bruises. She used to lock Simon in his room for days at a time without meals when he displeased her. He once had to be hospitalized when she withheld food for too long. And, since he had a history of serious 'mental disturbances' the doctor believed her when she said that Simon had been starving himself despite her efforts to feed him.
-His Step-siblings. Guess who never sneaked him food when he was starving? Guess who never spoke up when he was being abused? Guess who laughed when he cried out in pain? Guess who got to help Mommy punish the bad egg? Guess who enjoyed it? Yeah, that's enough guessing: it was the Patterson brood. They also went out of their way to get him into trouble. If one of them broke something in the house, they all banded together to blame it on Simon.
-Medications. He's been on so many different medications in his lifetime, it makes him a little sick just thinking about it. He's been on every different combination of various mood stabilizers and anti-depressants imaginable. All they seem to do is put him into a sort of fog. There was a time when he really believed that some combination of pills would work, and he'd wake up like a normal person. But, he's been disappointed so many times, he's come to hate the pills.
-School. That's kind of a given. He didn't ask to be sent to the “Loony School”. He could at least find a moment away from the misery of his condition when he was in Chamber Orchestra or Chamber Choir at school before St. Helena's. At least when he was in “Normal School” he could pretend he was a normal person. Sometimes he could even pretend he was going somewhere in life when he saw that he was coming out on top in all of his advanced placement classes. Even when it got to the point where he was missing more school than he was attending and his grades were beginning to slip, he could honestly say that there were people who thought he had potential. Even if it was wasted potential.
-Being Alive. This is kind of a big one, I guess. It isn't like this all the time. Sometimes, when he's manic, everything is fucking beautiful and he could do anything and he would enjoy it. When he's manic life is the best thing ever and death is just another adventure. But, when he starts to come down from his happy high he wants to escape (die) before he can get low again. He wants to die happy, so amid the dizzying brightness of his manic moods he is always a bit suicidal. Coming down from a manic mood is terrifying and possibly more upsetting than being depressed, because it is all just slipping. There is nothing worse than that.
Strengths:
-Intelligence. He has a very high IQ. He loves learning. He actually likes studying. You'd think this would set him up for some great academic success but, no, it really doesn't work that way. When he gets into a manic mood he is often so unfocused that his brilliance just falls all around him and is never put into the right place. When he is depressed he doesn't want to think, but he still does and it hurts. He used to get a lot of things done, but the chemicals in his brain have been changing as he matures, and the mood swings have become more violent than ever. His baseline mood is now always slightly depressed, and mania throws him all out of whack when it comes.
-Talent as a Cellist. He devotes much of his time to the cello, and he was first chair in Advanced Orchestra as well as first chair in Chamber Orchestra at his old school. He was probably one of the best in the state, but his mental instability made it difficult for him to continue performing towards the end of his life 'before' St. Helena's. He could have gone to Juilliard with his talent, but he blew it, didn't he?
-Studiousness. Yes, he's a good student, or at least he was before mania and depression took over his life completely. Even now he finds time to complete his coursework and still participate in music.
Weaknesses:
-Extreme Negativity. He doesn't see the glass half-full. He doesn't see the glass half-empty. He sees the glass is riddled with lead particles and smashed all over the ground.
-Impulsive. This is especially true when he is manic. He does stupid things and doesn't really think about the consequences. Even when he does think about the consequences they don't seem to matter any more. When he is at the mercy of his impulse he is liable to do things like: attempting suicide, trying crystal meth, getting a face tattoo, carving a word into his skin with a razor blade, joining the circus, pissing off the Mafia to see what will happen--- not to say that he's done most of these things, but that's how far he would go.
-Compulsive Lying. He was abused. Like many abused kids, who don't even realize they are doing this much of the time, he tends to lie without reason. It all stems from a coping mechanism developed in childhood. The unconscious logic behind it was “If I tell my step mother that my teacher said I did excellent work and I played chess with the good kids today, then she is less likely to accuse me of smoking crack and being a bad influence.”, and it just kind of stuck, even in situations where lying gave him no advantage. Like, if he is meeting a complete stranger that he will probably never see again on the bus, he will tell them that he is in a rock-band and has a girlfriend with tattoos and bleach blonde hair, and his best friend is related to the drummer from Metallica--- for no reason other than habit.
Fears:
-Coming down from a happy high. This terrifies him more than anything, and he has to face it all the time.
-Becoming depressed one day and never being happy again.
-His Stepmother. Even now that there is no physical way she could hurt him, she still scares him, or maybe it's just what she represents in his life that he fears.
-Failure.
-Loneliness.
-Boredom.
-Becoming completely numb from a medication that DOES work. This is a little complicated, because as much as he wants to be 'cured', he would hate to be completely deprived of his emotions. He doesn't want to be a zombie.
-Being trapped in his own mind forever.
-Everything. Sometimes he has panic attacks and he is afraid of everything--- people, being alone, being indoors, being outdoors, light, dark, etc. He often has multiple contradicting fears at once when he has one of these panic attacks.
Disorders: Bipolar 1, with rapid cycling and one or two psychotic episodes. Borderline case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Possibly abuse triggered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. History of self-injury, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts. All other disorders are rooted in his severe bipolar disorder, however.
General Description:He has rapid cycling bipolar disorder--- so rapid that sometimes he can have polar shifts in his mood within a day. He's more prone to self-destructive behaviour when he is manic than when he is depressed, as strange as that might sound. He has a generally negative outlook on life. He's attempted suicide more than once and cognitive therapy and medication haven't done much to convince him that life is worth living. He resents the fact that he has been sent away to school, and he hates his family. He's been playing the cello since he was five, and that is the only thing that feels like a constant in his life. He finds comfort and peace in music, but when he is depressed he sometimes can't find the energy to get up and play, even when he knows it will make him feel better. He has really severe panic attacks sometimes, due to his bipolar cycles.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]
and now there's me. the secrets you give ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
a n d t h e s e c r e t s y o u k e e p. a n d n e v e r t h e l e s s, i t 's n e v e r y o u l e t. t h e m o r e t h a t i g i v e
and the less that i get. don't tell me to fight, to fight for you. after this long, i shouldn't have to[/color][/font]
[/color]Mother:
June Wallace, biological mother, 42
Carolyn Gallagher, step-mother, 46
Father: James Gallagher, 58
Siblings:
-Emily Patterson, step-sister, 23
-Jonah Patterson, step-brother, 19
-David Patterson, step-brother, 17
-Christina Patterson, step-sister, 16
-Amy Gallagher, half-sister, 8
Pets:
Other:
History: TWO PARAGRAPHS. His parents divorced when he was two and his mother ran off to follow her dreams of becoming a travelling food critic. He hasn't seen his mother since he was five. His father remarried when Simon was seven, bringing a cruel stepmother and cruel step-siblings into Simon's life. He was bullied in school for being a nerd and bullied at home for just being alive. When he was ten, his step-brother, Jonah pushed him out into traffic and he was hit by a car. This resulted in several broken limbs and a lecture from his stepmother about watching where you are going before you cross the street. No one believed him when he said he was pushed, and he was punished for 'lying'.
When he was eleven he attempted suicide by hanging in his closet, but he didn't get far since his step-mother had taken away his bedroom door out of distrust and his step sister, Emily walked in on him. When he was fourteen he attempted suicide three times--- twice by slitting his wrists with a box cutter and once by swallowing an entire bottle of children's Tylenol. He was lectured and punished for 'tearing the family apart', though he knew that none of his step siblings would mind if he was gone, and his stepmother might even enjoy burying him. When he was fifteen he slit his wrists deep enough that it was actually touch and go for a while, and his stepmother finally convinced his father that they couldn't have him around the house any longer. That was how he ended up at St. Helena's. [/justify][/blockquote][/size]
i know you're fine, but what do i do? i know ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e a n d t r y i n g w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g l i k e a
babe beside him.i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]
[/color] Simon (for now)Alias:
Age: 18
Time Zone: Pacific Time
Other Characters: None
Code Words: STOLEN BY ADMIN[/justify][/blockquote][/size]
this template was made by alice. it uses the lyrics
for "fallout" by marianas trench. do not steal,
alter, edit, or use without her permission or she will
send the evil monkey in her closet after you. you have
been warned.[/i][/center]