MASON, carter flora

[/i][/color][/size][/font]
r e m i n d s m e o f y o u. s o m a n y t h i n g s i s h o u l d n 't h a v e m i s s e d. t h e m o r e t h a t i p u s h,
and the more you resist. it's easy to say it's for the best when you want more while you leave me with less.[/color][/font]

Full Name:

[/color] carter flora mason
Nicknames: n/a
Age: seventeen
Birthdate: march 13th
Sexuality: heteroflexible
Gender: female
Problem: suicidal
Grade: twelfth
Clique(s): music geek
Classes:

[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


i know you're fine, but what do i do ?[/i][/color][/size][/font]
i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e, a n d t r y i n g, w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g
like a babe beside him. i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]

Height:

[/color] five feet two inches
Weight: one hundred twenty five
Hair Color: varies, right now it's blond with pink ends
Eye Color: brown
Notable Features: a couple tattoos, pierced nose.
Play-By: demi lovato
General Description: well, i'm pretty short but i actually really like that for some reason. being tall never really interested me so i'm glad i'm not very tall. naturally, i have brown hair, but as of lately i've been playing around with styles and colors, so expect some crazy stuff! i also have a few tattoos, i know i'm a little young, but we all know that tattooist in town isn't a hard ass about it, plus my parents really supported me in the decisions. then, my style is really whatever the heck i want it to be! sometimes i wear jeans and a t-shirt, other times i wear a dress, my style is out there and very whatever, so look forward to it.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


and i know you see me, and you're making it ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
l o o k s o e a s y. w h a t c o m e s a n d g o e s, i 'd g o w i t h o u t. i k n o w y o u 'r e f i n e b u t w h a t a b o u t
fallout , fallout , fallout, through the fallout. fallout, fallout, through the fallout. well now there's him,[/color][/font]

Likes:

[/color] positivity, happiness, being able to say that things could be worse, making decisions, growing up, taking responsibility.
Dislikes: sadness, going to the dark part of her mind, failure, self harm, feeling worthless, hating herself, forcing happiness.
Strengths: can easily wear a smile, able to communicate her emotions through music, great aspirations.
Weaknesses: can get really down on herself, perfectionist, always trying to hide her emotions
Fears: failure, relapse, spiders
Disorders: clinical depression
General Description:
"for the longest time, i've hated myself. i'm still working towards accepting myself for who i am and how i stand in the world, and i'm realizing now that i'm human, like everyone else, and that i will always make mistakes and sometime, i'm going to feel bad. however, i've learned to get over that. there was a time when i wished i was dead, and i didn't think anyone would miss me. i hated that i had to be alive, and i thought everyone else did, too. that's not the case, though.

i'm pretty strong-willed when i want to be. i can do a lot of things so long as i try my hardest. over the course of two years now, i've managed to stop hating myself as much. i'm still on the path to self-love, but i'm getting there and picking up speed. i know now that anything i want to do, i can get done as long as i'm devoted to it, and i hope and plan to use that for good rather than the bad once again.

i'm pretty shy, too. it doesn't really seem like it, i know i come off as happy and loud and energetic, but that's just because that's how i am when i'm comfortable with other people. around brand new people or people that make me feel uncomfortable like large groups of people when i'm doing a solo, i choke up and have a hard time doing anything. it's another thing i'm sort of learning to get over slowly, but i'm happy to take my time with it.

another thing is, i love music. music is my one outlet, it's the only way that i can get my emotions out without wanting to hurt myself. i'm terrified of relapsing and self-harming myself or trying to kill myself once again. so, in order to prevent it, i write songs and i sing them, i put my time and effort that, at one point in my life, would have been spent hurting or hating myself can take up my focus.[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


and now there's me. the secrets you give ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
a n d t h e s e c r e t s y o u k e e p. a n d n e v e r t h e l e s s, i t 's n e v e r y o u l e t. t h e m o r e t h a t i g i v e
and the less that i get. don't tell me to fight, to fight for you. after this long, i shouldn't have to[/color][/font]

Mother:

[/color] abrielle mason (41)
Father: robert mason (44)
Siblings: kimberly (2), annalise (3), jonah (15), carson (22)
Pets: dog the cat, cat the rat.
Other: n/a
History:
"my life has been pretty normal up until just a few years ago. i was sort of a surprise to my parents, but loved all the more. i had a protective older brother who loved me more than himself and he still does. i have three younger siblings, and that's where life turned a little rotten. i was used to living a happy, simple life. we lived on a farm where we all worked together. my mother home-schooled us and our dad worked at the local supermarket and sold the vegetables and fruit and whatever else that we made at the farmer's market.

when annalise came around, though, things started getting a little weird for me. i wasn't used to there being other girls in the house, and i got.. jealous. i hated that the attention wasn't on the three kids anymore and to be quite frank, i thought my parents were a bit old to be having kids. annalise was healthy however when kimberly was born just a year later, we noticed that there was something wrong. of course, she had downs syndrome. my parents got busy with her, thinking that she could be gone at any time, too busy to realize that i was hurt that they didn't pay any attention to me anymore, and also that i was getting bullied in school.

this went on for.. awhile. i began harming myself, not trying to kill myself on a conscious level, but allowing myself to get a bit closer every day. eventually, i ended up on the brink of death, bleeding out in the bathroom that my brothers and i shared. luckily for me, i hadn't locked the door, i'm not sure why, but i hadn't, and my older brother walked in and pretty much saved my life. if he hadn't been pissed at me for being in the bathroom so long, then i would probably be dead right now.

after that, my mom and dad decided that i should get help, and their form of help was sending me to st helena's academy where they could help me much more than my parents could. at the time, i hadn't really believed them, but now i'm really glad that they did. i'm sure that if they had just looked past it, that i would still probably be doing what i used to, or i might even be dead. at the end of my sophomore year and through my junior year, i really acknowledged the fact that i needed help. i got a phone call from my brother and he explained to me what losing me what have meant to him and the rest of the family.

i hadn't really realized until that point that i was actually cared for. my brothers and i had always fought, but it turns out, deep down, that he had actually cared for me enough to call me. i kind of realized that there were people out there that didn't want to see me dead, so i decided that i wanted to get better, if not for me, for them. that's when i started opening up to my counselor, that's when i tried to stop hurting myself and that sort of thing and through my junior year i got to be what people considered "better".

i could have gone back to regular school, however, i don't quite trust myself yet, so i decided to stay at st helena's for awhile and utilize my strong support group just the reinforce the fact that i'm better and i'm going to stay better."[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


i know you're fine, but what do i do? i know ,[/i][/color][/size][/font]
y o u 'r e f i n e, b u t w h a t d o i d o? i 'm a w a k e a n d t r y i n g w h i l e y o u 'r e s l e e p i n g l i k e a
babe beside him.i'm on the ledge while you're so god damn polite and composed.[/color][/font]

Alias:

[/color] alyssa
Age: 18
Time Zone: gmt -8
Other Characters: violet, alexa, cam, chandler
Code Words: JACKED[/justify][/blockquote][/size]


this template was made by alice. it uses the lyrics
for "fallout" by marianas trench. do not steal,
alter, edit, or use without her permission or she will
send the evil monkey in her closet after you. you have
been warned.[/i][/center]