learning to fall [adrian]

The doctors all called it the Stockholm Syndrome, an unhealthy sympathy for the captor. But Jeremy just thought he was being nice, trying to devote every measure of himself to being a good, loyal son. He was reluctant to leave his old life because he didn't know where he would be going. He had no other family besides his father, and he didn't want to give up his last living, present relation even if there was no real love there. But St. Helena's was quite a bit different, and not at all what he had originally imagined. The state of Oklahoma had found him a very good school where more than one member of the faculty actually cared about him and wanted him to get better. And for once in his life, Jeremy actually had friends -- friends that were his own age, and not ones that he just enjoyed simple, passing conversations with. He might still have felt sorry for his dad, sorry that he was the reason a man that he thought was innocent was put into prison.

But no matter what degree of sympathy Jeremy exhibited towards his now estranged father, he was starting to realize that he did not want to go back to that old life, even if it meant a certain safety from outside intrusion. Living here meant that he was forced to give up his secrets, but it was a price that he was willing to pay -- for better health, for better friends, for friends that truly did care about him, a lot more than his sick father ever did. He knew that he was in a safe place, much safer than the little house on the outskirts of Shawnee, and that was confirmed by the warmest, friendliest touch he had ever felt in his life.

At first, Jeremy was not so keen on being in extremely close physical proximity with another male -- and, oh, now they were touching! Seeing his shaken state, Adrian had pulled him close, and Jeremy found himself with his head lying on Adrian's chest. This was definitely a violation of personal space; and even more so, after having been touched and so many other disgusting verbs during the time with his father, Jeremy did not want to be touched -- by anything or anyone. Combined with the fact that Adrian was a very masculine jock who could get any girl he wanted and would probably have been a little upset if rumors went around about him touching another boy, a surprised gasp from a still-shaking Jeremy was to be expected. He recoiled somewhat, and began to pull away at first.

But this touch, and that voice -- it was different from what he had heard before. Adrian did not speak about how much pleasure he was receiving, how adequately he was dominating this submissive young man. His touch, his voice: together, they were both so comforting. Jeremy began to take deep breaths as he started to calm down, realizing that his private parts were not being violated, and Adrian's hands were not in naughty places. In fact, Adrian had ever so gently brushed a hand across Jeremy's forehead. Suddenly, Jeremy was not so worried about being touched in the wrong places, and he was a lot less concerned about getting beaten up or socially destroyed by a jock. As Jeremy felt the arms around his back, pulling him in, protecting him from his demons, he realized that Adrian was no ordinary jock -- probably the first of his kind -- and Jeremy really liked that. With the anxiety slowly melting away, Jeremy thought, Is this what friends are supposed to do? Is this what...having a friend is like... For once, he felt safe -- and maybe, just maybe, like he was home.

Swallowing hard and pushing back the tears, Jeremy whispered, "Y-Yeah," and it came out a lot choppier and weaker than he had intended. He cleared his throat briefly and sighed before muttering, "Thank you..." But Jeremy had completely forgotten that Adrian was wearing a tanktop in the midst of a major cold front, and it wasn't until now that Jeremy had noticed that Adrian's chest and shoulder, where he was laying his head, was a little cold. In the dark, he smiled and chuckled softly, saying, "You're so cold." Responding as if it were a natural reflex, Jeremy pulled an arm away from his own chest and wrapped it around Adrian's waist. And there was this feeling at the back of Jeremy's mind that validated the situation, that approved the physical contact: he's holding me, he thought, not touching me. He can hold me. He can. A soft smile bloomed on his face.

Feeling how wet his face was from the tears, Jeremy tried to pull his head away just for a moment to wipe off all the moisture. Unfortunately, being completely uncoordinated in the dark, he managed to do something a little embarrassing in the process. Somehow, he managed to nuzzle his nose against Adrian's chin and then, bringing his head up further, he brushed his lips across what he thought might have been Adrian's bottom lip. What a way to ruin the tenderness of the moment! Practically kissing a jock, great -- that was a great way to get yourself beaten up. This probably would have been the first time, in the history of nerddom, that a nerd had laid a big ol' wet one on a jock.

With a shocking intake of air, Jeremy pulled his body back a little and apologized. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean t-- it was an accident, I swear, I--" He didn't really know what to say. Was their relationship over now? It would have been just like Jeremy to take it too far, to lose the one good thing he had in just a few seconds. In the darkness, nobody could see the worry in his wide eyes.